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I was going to tell him. When I walked in here, I’d made up my mind to tell him. And now this?
Carefully, without betraying my emotions, I ask, “What do you mean by leaving?”
“I mean I’m leaving Edenton, angel. I have to head back to New York.”
I suck in a sharp breath, trying to keep calm, trying not to lose my head.
“Okay,” I say, nodding slowly. “This was always the plan. You were always going to return to New York. To your job and your life and your everything. I just didn’t think—” I falter.
I forgot. I forgot this was temporary.
“Emilia,” Sterling says, pain in his expression. “I was never going to leave you.”
“And now you’re saying you have to. It’s fine,” I say, my chest squeezing painfully.
Oh, God, I think I’m going to be sick. Or have a panic attack. Or both.
“Aren’t you going to ask me why?” Sterling growls. “Don’t just tell me it’s fine. Don’t pretend you’re not feeling anything.”
My jaw tightens. “Don’t piss me off, Sterling. You said you’re leaving, so go. I was fine before you came into my life, and I’ll be fine when you’re gone.”
Except I won’t be. Not even in the slightest.
Sterling scoffs before reaching for his precious bottle of whiskey and pouring another glass. We’re both silent as he takes the shot. I try to steady my heartbeat, trying to be reasonable.
“Why do you have to leave?” I ask after several moments.
Sterling runs a hand through his hair, looking more distraught than I’ve ever seen him.
“Marissa’s sick,” he finally replies. “She has cancer.”
I gasp, my hands going over my mouth. “Oh my god,” I murmur.
“Yeah, it’s why she hasn’t been around the past couple of months. She’s been getting treatments. But they don’t seem to be working. That’s why I have to leave, angel,” he says, green eyes burning intently into mine. “We might not be married anymore, but that woman is the mother of my child. I have to do my best to help her.”
Guilt washes over me. “I’m sorry, Sterling,” I whisper.
And I’m so fucking sorry for Marissa. She’s so young. She shouldn’t have to be going through this. No one should.
“It’s not your fault, angel. I just need you understand where I’m going from.”
“Of course I do,” I assure him, my voice hoarse. “You have to be with her, Sterling, because that’s who you are. I don’t think a lot of people see it, but you’re actually such a good person. You’re always talking about my bleeding heart, but yours is so beautiful and pure as well,” I say softly, placing a hand against his chest.
He takes the hand in his, running his thumb over my palm. The warmth from his touch spreads all over me, heating me up from the inside.
“I’m so sorry, angel. I wish I didn’t have to leave. I wish none of this was happening.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I hate this so much. I don’t want to leave you.”
“Sterling, I need you to listen to me without getting angry, okay?”
His jaw tightens. “I’ll try.”
“You need to go. Because you were always meant to do that. This, whatever’s going on between you and me, it was temporary. I don’t think it was ever going to last. And while I’ve so enjoyed getting to know you, I think our time is up. You have your family to think about, you have Sean and Marissa, and your parents. You’ve progressed so much in the past two months, which I how I know you’ll be strong enough to handle whatever comes next. You have to be.”
He stares at me for a moment before exhaling a breath. “A part of me was hoping you’d ask me to stay,” he says.