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He doesn’t stop me when I walk away this time. I make it all the way to my front door before my eyes start to fill with tears, before my breathing starts to falter. I know he’s still standing there, but I don’t look back. I practically rip the door open in my haste to get inside.
And once I’m in, I slide down to the floor with gasping sobs, clutching my stomach. Anika’s at my side in the next second, sinking down beside me.
“Oh god, what’s wrong?” she questions, fear in her voice. “I was watching from the window. I saw that kiss. Why did it look like you were saying goodbye?”
“Because he’s leaving,” I manage to say, trying and failing to compose myself.
My sister rubs circles against my lower back comfortingly. We’re both still on the floor. It feels like I’ll never find the strength to stand again.
“I’m so sorry, Em,” Anika murmurs. “Please stop crying. I hate seeing you like this. If it hurts this much, ask him to stay.”
“I can’t,” I whisper.
She doesn’t say anything for a moment. I think she understands because she only hugs me tighter.
“You’ve got us, Emilia. It’ll be okay.”
“It won’t,” I tell her tearfully. “Because I’m pregnant, Anika. I’m pregnant with Sterling’s baby.”
That’s the first time I’ve said it out loud since I took the pregnancy test the day before. It makes it all the more real. And the weight of what I’m going to have to deal with alone is almost unbearable.
“What?” Anika practically screeches, pulling away to look me in the eye. “Are you sure?”
“I took a pregnancy test last night. It came out positive, so yeah. I’m pretty sure.”
“Then what are you doing crying here? Go to Sterling. If he knows you’re pregnant, then?—”
“I can’t do that,” I say, cutting her off. “This is all my fault.”
My sister frowns. “I’m pretty sure it takes two people to tango.”
“I messed up my birth control shots,” I mutter.
“Itstilltakes two people to tango. This baby can’t be only your responsibility. And you can’t possibly be planning on keeping it away from Sterling forever.”
“Not forever. Just until he comes back,” I grit out.
“And if he doesn’t?”
My heart clenches. “Then I guess it’s forever.”
Anika’s expression crumples. “Emilia.”
“Just help me, please. I need you and everyone else in our family.”
“You know we’ll always be there for you,” she immediately reassures me. She hugs me again and I relish in the warmth. It helps to calm me down. “Always and forever, Emilia.”
Always and forever.
TWO YEARS LATER
The sound of a blender fills the kitchen in my brother’s apartment. I hurriedly rush to the sink to rinse the cup in my hands before rushing back to the blender, switching it off. I pour my smoothie in, relishing in the sweetness that explodes on my tongue.
“Emilia,” Carson calls from the living room, “you’re going to be late.”
“I know,” I yell back, grabbing my cup and walking over to meet him and the little bundle of joy he has in his arms.
They’re both seated on the couch. My daughter’s eyes are glued to the TV screen as her favorite cartoon plays. I’m not sure if she understands what they’re saying, but she seems to like the pictures.