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PART ONE

CONTROL THE UNCONTROLLABLE

1

TESSA

Tessalyn Ausra rolled over in bed, reaching across the mattress only to find the other side cold. She cracked her eyes open, her vision blurry for a few seconds while she adjusted to the soft morning light spilling into the room. One curtain had been pulled aside. The rest remained tightly shut, keeping the top floor of the townhouse in the dark.

The dark.

So much darkness. No room for light. No room to breathe. No room to?—

The rustling of pages drew her from her thoughts, and her attention fixed on the Legacy seated on the sofa across the room. Theon St. Orcas, Heir to the Arius Kingdom and her Master, had already showered and dressed for the day. Or he’d started to dress anyway. He wore his suit pants, but his black shirt wasn’t buttoned, untucked and hanging open to leave his chest on full display. A chest she’d watched heaving as he bound her with his shadows. A torso she’d watched the muscles of flex as he’d sank into her?—

Godsdammit.

The one and only time they’d fucked plagued her memory in both the best and worst ways possible. Because that sex had been… Well, he’d been right. It was different than sex with a mortal. Different and a thousand times better, and he swore it wouldn’t happen again until she said she was his. He didn’t even care if she lied about it, as long as she said it. She was an excellent liar, but this? She just couldn’t bring herself to say the words, and she couldn’t figure out why. One would think the bond would make it easier, but the bond only made her life more chaotic.

Tessa studied him, his ebony hair falling across his brow as he looked between two books open on the small coffee table and his laptop balanced on the arm of the sofa. Probably researching her. Again. He was obsessed with figuring out her lineage ever since the Emerging Ceremony a week ago. Ever since it had been revealed she wasn’t Fae like all the other Sources. Ever since it had been revealed the Source of the Arius Heir had magic of Achaz. No one understood how someone with magic of the god of light and beginnings had gone undetected for her nearly twenty-four years, but the fact that she was the Source of power for a descendant of the god of death and endings was irony at its finest.

She lightly cleared her throat as she pushed into a sitting position, reaching for Theon’s thermal shirt he still left out for her every night. As she finished pulling the shirt on over her sleep tank, it caught on the dark bands on her wrists that kept her magic from manifesting. She could take them off, but Theon and the others didn’t seem to know that. The bands were becoming increasingly annoying, though. Her magic buzzed beneath her skin, constantly searching for a way out and driving her a little mad. A necessary nuisance until she learned to control her magic, but who knew when that would be. The Faewere already learning to control their elements, but mastering an element differed from a Legacy power.

Or so she’d been told as she’d watched from a balcony overlooking the arenas where the power training took place. Twice this week they’d been there because Theon had wanted to observe the newly awakened Fae, and she’d wished she were down in the arenas with her friends as they learned to control water and air, earth and fire.

But she wasn’t one of them anymore.

No one seemed to know what she was, although plenty of people had ideas. Theon. Rordan. Valter. She’d heard the whispers in passing of Fae and Legacy when they entered a room.

She supposed that was why Theon was suddenly so obsessed with her lineage. But the truth of it all was she didn’t belong anywhere. She’d always felt alone in the world; now she truly was.

A swirl of dark shadows appeared, carrying a mug of coffee over to her. Theon didn’t even look up when she wrapped her fingers around the warm cup, clutching it close to her chest. She sat for a few minutes, waiting to see if he was going to say anything. The fact that he’d let her sleep in told her there was something important happening this morning. It was a break from their routine these past few days. Normally, Theon had been waking her up to go running as the sun rose before he dropped her off for training with Luka, Theon’s Guardian, advisor-to-be, and best friend. Then Axel, Theon’s younger brother, had been picking her up and bringing her back here so she could shower and dress for whatever she’d be doing the rest of the day. Next week, she’d start private lessons with Mother Cordelia. At least, she assumed that was still the plan. The other Sources already attended their own private element training while she stayed with Theon, which is where she preferred to beanyway. Sitting through endless meetings. Observing the Lords, Ladies, and Heirs.

Watching.

Listening.

Learning everything she could about the countless people who wanted something from her. Who’d lied to her. Who had secrets she coveted.

When Theon still didn’t acknowledge her, she let out a sigh before climbing out of bed and moving to the balcony, slipping through the curtains and door. It was cool outside, the autumn temperatures helped along by the constantly cloudy sky. The floor of the balcony was cold on her bare feet, but it was better than shoes or socks.

Sipping at her coffee, she watched the Acropolis come to life below. She may loathe running with Theon, but at least it got her outside. She probably wouldn’t get much time outdoors today. The one and only other time she hadn’t gone running this last week was when they’d had to attend a breakfast with all the Lords and Ladies two days after the Emerging Ceremony. She’d been present physically, but mentally she’d still been in the wine cellar, clawing at the walls, trying to find a way out.

And since that time, Theon had been…different. Still demanding. Still controlling. Still all the things she hated, but also different, especially when they were alone. He gave her space, gave her choices on things that didn’t matter, and, probably the most suspicious, he’d let her have pizza two nights ago.

Which made her trust him even less.

It was as if he was trying to lure her into a false sense of security, and if she wasn’t careful, she had no doubt she’d find herself shoved into the dark once more.

If only I’d known this is all I needed to do from the beginning.

That was what he’d said to her. Even now, standing outside where the sun was trying to find its way through the clouds, she could see his hard emerald eyes staring at her. Feel his fingers brushing the hair back from her brow. Feel his shadows peeling her off him while she begged him not to leave her in the dark.

“We can walk today if you’d like.”

Tessa jolted, spinning around to find Theon leaning in the doorway. He held his own coffee mug, his shirt still unbuttoned, all the grooves and indents of his abdomen taunting her. Because the dark still plagued her, and time spent in pleasure at his hands still managed to drive it away, and fuck him for being both her destruction and salvation.

Her fingers tightened around her mug, and her eyes dropped to the ground, finding his black shoes. He never went barefoot. Even half dressed he had shoes on his feet. How ridiculous was that?