Page 26 of Soulgazer

I’m at the line of cloaks again when his hand curls around my upper arm, drawing me up short. “A handfasting.”

My mind roars like the wildest winter wind. He’s furious—I see it in the firm line of his brow and the flatness of his mouth. But there’s respect as well, and his touch is gentle even as it falls away.

“What?”

“A handfasting. That’s all I can give. It’s binding, but we can both walk at the end of this journey if we want.”

I am speechless. Numb. Ants crawl across my skin as a hive hums behind my ears, the ocean churning gently in my mind. And though metallic fear coats my tongue, for once it doesn’t overwhelm me. I know what I’m going to say before it comes out—know all over again that I’ll likely regret this someday.

But at least this destruction will be my choice, and mine alone.

“Aye.” I watch him for one second longer before I spit into my palm and offer my hand like Da did yesterday. Faolan echoes the gesture and shakes my hand firmly enough to jar my shoulder.

“Well. You’ve got your wish—a leash on the Wolf of the Wild. Shall I deflower you now or later?”

I tear my hand away from his so violently that I fall back into a cloud of ferns, their vibrant green fronds cool against the raging heat of my face.

“I don’t think you understood, I-it’s notthatkind of marriage.”

His laughter is wild as he grips my arm, hauling me out of the leaves. “Stars above, your face! You’ll have to grow a thicker skin than all tha’ if you’re going to survive on my ship, lass.” He looks me over, cocks his head to the side, and before I can stop him he’s caught either side of the betrothal torc and pulled it free from my neck. “No use for this anymore.”

I rub at the raw skin left behind, biting my lip when my fingers find an especially tender place. “Thank you.”

“Besides, if I’m going to be bound up in marriage, might as well piss off two kings in the process.”

He’s ducked before I can fully process the magnitude of what we’re about to do, plucking my veil from the ground. “Come to my ship after the fifth sacrifice. Everyone should be well and truly drunk by then. If we time it right, we’ll be tethered and sailing off on our merry adventure long before anyone realizes we’ve gone.”

This cannot be reality. I am not this girl.

“Which ship is yours?”

Faolan’s smile is wicked as he slips a wolf’s-head ring off his pinky and slides it onto the longest finger of my left hand.

“The one made of starlight.”

Nine

A column of smoke disrupts the pristine, silver-streaked sky, casting a haze upon the moon. On the southern beaches, they’ll be burning effigies of the gods—Róisín first for the island of artists, storytellers, and twilight bargains. I imagine the smooth wood of her skin peeling back as flames lick higher, marsh marigolds mingled with blood and ashes at her feet.

My fingers twitch in response, casting skeletal shadows over the heavy wool blanket below. It’s too thick in the sticky summer heat of the cabin, but I couldn’t refuse my mother’s offer to cover me.

I couldn’t refuse anything at all.

Somewhere in the stifling room, I hear a sound like tearing fabric echo again and again. Five long seconds pass before I realize it is just my breath—short and sharp. Shaking on every exhale.

My fingers twitch again.

“Tie her down.” The apothecary never looked my way, attention fixed on his vial of precious ink. “I’ll attempt the second circle, and if it succeeds—”

“You will complete it tonight.” Da’s voice held none of the apothecary’s apathy. “And never assume to order me again.”

I cowered when he came for me, fighting every instinct to run asI begged for more answers—more time. Until Da ripped them from my hands.

Slowly, painstakingly, I curl my hand into a fist and twist it knuckle side up. Four sleek bruises stripe my arm above the wrist.

“Not the ropes, Dermot. They’ll leave marks on her skin. I’ll hold her.”

And she had.