Page 131 of Soulgazer

The question startles me, prickling beneath my skin. “What?”

“Faolan is obsessed with his freedom, making a mark on the world, but I have to ask…what about his bride?”

Faolan’s wolf’s-head ring catches on my skirt as I face her, lips parted and stomach clenched. No words come. Kiara studies me a moment, then takes a half step closer. “After you’ve found the Isle of Lost Souls for me, and I’ve released Faolan from his leash, what doyouwant?”

My heart races. I can barely breathe. Images of this morning trickle across my mind, from Faolan’s tender smile to the pile of forget-me-nots he plucked from my hair. Because in spite of what I told Aidan about a temporary marriage, I still managed to forget that this was never meant to be mine.

“I…I want…”

I close my eyes, picturing the question again, and try to force my old answers to fit.

I wanted to survive, until Faolan taught me that it was not enough. I wanted to understand myself, and I hold the answers now. I wanted to belong, and the crew made me a wolf. I want—

Love.

No. More than that, I want tobeloved.

By touches like raindrops that slide down my bare skin, kisses that drift across the sweet bow of my lip, and labored breaths that whisper my name. I want to be loved by a pair of sleepy sapphire eyes and gentle smiles, a laugh too loud and energy unbound. By murmurs and shouts and belly-deep groans.

I want the impossible.

My body curls into itself and I lean my elbows on the railing, wrapping both hands across my mouth as I stare into the churning water.

This pain is unreal. It buries itself like a fist in my stomach, robbing me of air, because Faolan is a man of his word and the only promise he’s ever made is a few months of his life in exchange for this island.

It’s a good story, anyway, isn’t it? The Magpie and the Wolf.

The clever bastard.

I squeeze my eyes against the threat of tears.

“Faolan means well.” Kiara’s voice comes from far away. “But the moment our deal’s fulfilled, he’ll be off like a hare fleeing the fox. And you can go with him, to be sure, keep your place on his crew, enjoy his affections. While they last, anyway. But what comes after?”

I can see it without the need for magic or visions. And if I was ever lonely before, it will be nothing compared to what I’ll be after all this is over. I might be one of the wolves, aye, but could I stomach living among them once Faolan had lost interest in me? Watch him pursue others as I stood quietly by?

“You don’t have to say another word. I already know.” I wipe my cheeks and then drop my head to my hands. “What’s your point with all this?”

Kiara taps the railing beside my arm, her voice softer. “You’re vulnerable. What happened with your father might’ve been an accident, but it won’t be seen that way. If you were hoping to cut ties after the Isle of Lost Souls and disappear, you certainly won’t be able to now. Not to mention you’ve picked a fight with Rí Maccus as well. Twice.”

I groan into my hands, unable to help myself. It’s not bloodyfair—I didn’t ask foranyof this. Not Faolan’s attention, not a broken betrothal, not thisdamnedmagic.

“You need protection, lass, and I’m telling you now Faolan cannot be counted on to provide it.”

Kiara takes my arm and pulls none too gently until I’m standing straight and meeting her gaze full-on, the kindly confidant replaced by a warrior queen. “But I can. And it will be built on concrete ideals and a fair trade, not flights of fancy or desperation.” She strokes my hair from my face, then crosses her arms. “Protection from whoever wants to harm you. Money. A home on the island of your true ancestors if it’s inhabitable.”

I stare at her through wet lashes, searching for the trap. “In exchange for what?”

Kiara smiles. “The magic, of course. You have the power to see or know what others are trying to hide, what tragedies may come. I’ll call upon you no more than four times a year to provide your sight, and the rest of that life is yours to lead how you wish.”

A life like Faolan has led for years, free on the surface but always tethered to Kiara’s will. He could not bear the burden of her reach, no matter how long or flexible it may have been.

And yet.

Kiara lifts one shoulder. “You’re welcome to refuse. I won’t force you. You can test his affection, see if you can prove me wrong. Honestly, I’m damned curious if he has it in him to commit to one woman or venture past a few moons. But think about my offer, would you?” She pushes off the railing with a shake of her head. “You’ve survived plenty so far, Saoirse. Don’t stop now.”

The clouds swirl like wayward ribbons above her head as she walks away, and suddenly I wish I could control my magic better. Wish I knew how to search for a specific path and, what’s more,how to make it a reality. Because if there was even the smallest chance Faolan could want me too…

My chest jerks with a laugh. Wasn’t it only last night he claimed he did? But in a carnal sense, the sort stirred by months of lying beside temptation only to vanish as soon as it’s satisfied. Nothing like the sort of soul-deep yearning that catches my being whenever I look at him.