Page 149 of Soulgazer

I round a small copse of boulders and there he is, bent over a stream as he tries to pull what’s left of his shirt free and tend to his wounds. He gets his arms only halfway over his head before he flinches and releases a garbled cry, jerking the fabric forward rather than letting go.

His hurt goes so much deeper than skin.

“Faolan, stop. Please—”

“Why? Can I not even remove my own damned shirt without your permission now, myqueen?”

The words are a slap I’m not prepared for. I fall back heavily against roughened bark and watch as he grits his teeth and finally pulls a dagger free from the back of his boot. The shirt falls away in seconds, revealing the tears in his flesh from Maccus’s blade.

“I didn’t know Kiara meant to do that,” I say.

His laugh is vicious and mocking, and my own anger surfaces as I push off the tree. “Faolan, I never wanted any of this! I never wanted either of us trapped.”

“Well it’s a bloody perfect time for you to figure that out, aye? Except that wasn’t the first time you talked to her about a bargain. Was it?”

“It’s not—” I bury my face in my hands, desperate to pray, knowing there is no one left to listen. “What choice did I have? I was just trying to make sure I survived all this, and she gave me a choice: use my sight in exchange for protection. You never promised me anything—”

“To feck with tha’!” Faolan rounds on me and stalks forward, never mind the blood and wounds. “I bound myself to your body, my spirit to your own. Does that meannothingto you?”

“It means everything!” Tears spring to my eyes, and I swipe them firmly away. “But what happens when that time is up? Or we move to another island and you meet a girl who’s more interesting, more beautiful—what happens when I’m not enough anymore?”

He stares at me, his mouth agape, before his fingers curl into fists that he presses against his temples. “Saoirse, I’ve told you things I’ve never told another living soul. About my parents, what it felt like holding on to that rock, dying. Hell, Imarriedyou—”

I whirl on him, rage releasing my tongue. “So you could use me to find the island! To saveyourself—you can’t tell me those weren’t your motivations, because you made that perfectly clear from the start.”

Faolan lurches forward and then snarls in pain, grabbing his ribs. “And after? You think I was playing a game when I healed your hand, kissed you after the market—laywith you?”

“I don’t know.” I can’t meet his eyes now. I stare at the sky instead, what dark pieces I can see behind rain-soaked leaves. “You’re so damned hard to read, and even the things you say twist around on themselves. I’ve seen you tell stories and charm your way through your crew, the markets, all of it. You use affection like it’s coin, and never promised anything outside our first vows—and I couldn’t wait for you to. How was I to know it all meantanythingto you?”

Faolan’s laugh is bitter, his eyes near black. “How the feck could you have shared that night with me and believed it was nothing?”

Flames erupt in my belly, scorching my cheeks as I turn on him. “You left.”

He stops moving. I don’t.

“You left our bed, and thenignoredme for five days after. And I—” My voice breaks, pain and fury spilling into tears that I don’t bother trying to hide. “I knew better, but I waited for you, and y-you wouldn’t look at me ortouchme—”

“Because I didn’t want you sensing my bloody feelings! Lass, you—” Faolan rocks forward and then stops, every tendon strained, every muscle taut. “Your eyes were changing color. Then my scar left a mark, and—stars above, the way you can know a person, knowme, by a touch scares the shite out of me, Saoirse.”

His chest heaves as he looks at me.Reallylooks.

“I thought you’d be able to tell…that you knew…”

Faolan bites off the words, and I nearly swallow my tongue.

It’s another trick. A lie. I have to believe that.

Because if it were the truth, it would damn us both to a life neither of us wants, corrupting and twisting us over time like the souls who’ve remained here for generations.

I stagger back. Shake my head. “It’s not too late for you, Faolan.” I ball my fingers into the ends of my shirt to keep them still. “I’m tied to the island now, sworn to help your cousin. But you…you could still be free.”

His eyes stay on the ground, and my breath shakes when it comes out.

“I can sever the handfasting.”

“No.”

I shut my eyes tight against a growing nausea and spread my hands over my stomach to keep steady. “Faolan, son of Barden—”