Page 127 of Somehow You Knew

“Why did he keep it from you?”

“Because we didn’t talk about shit like that. Honestly, I never had a great relationship with my dad. I think he thought that by working tirelessly and providing for me, he was doing his part as a good father. But I was alone most of my childhood, especially after my mom took off. She loved drugs more than me, but looking back, I’m glad she left and didn’t drag me into that part of her life with her.”

“I’m so sorry, Gage.”

“When I told you that you have no idea how lucky you are to have your family, Hazel, I meant it. I was jealous of that, but I accepted a long time ago that I didn’t get that type of family, so being alone was just how it was supposed to be. And then once I found out about my heart, I felt like that was the nail in the coffin that sealed my fate of solitude.”

“Until your aunt left us millions of dollars.”

I laugh. “Yeah. And you know…it’s not like she didn’t try to set us up before, but…”

“We had both sworn off love.”

“Exactly.”

She sighs, a pinch in her brow. “I wish you would have told me about your heart sooner.”

“I wanted to, but it was easier to ignore it, pretend like it wasn’t an issue.” I rub my thumb along her bottom lip. “You definitely gave me something else to focus on.”

“Except when the dizzy spells started happening.”

I close my eyes. “Yeah. And it was my fault for not telling Dr. Miranda about them. If I had, she probably could have adjusted my meds before the episode at Parker’s wedding.”

Sheshoves at my chest, forcing me to look at her again. “You realize I thought that Miranda was some woman you were talking to back home?”

Chuckling, I say, “Well, you weren’t wrong. And I planned on telling you everything when we talked this week. I just didn’t get the chance. And then when I woke up and saw the look on your face as I was lying in that hospital bed…it was every fear slamming into me at once.”

She licks her lips, pushing her hand through my hair and trailing it down my jaw. “What fears?”

“Even though I wasn’t close with my dad, his death affected me. It’s like I realized everything I missed out on, everything I could have changed if he hadn’t died. And that’s when I decided that I never wanted to leave someone else with that feeling, so I was better off just being alone for the rest of my life as well. You looked at me with the fear that I was dying, and the last thing I wanted was anyone to ever feel that way...especially you.”

“So you asked me to leave.”

“Yes.” I swallow past the lump in my throat. “What if I don’t wake up next time, Hazel? What if I leave you and a couple of kids?” I shake my head. “This condition is hereditary and I still don’t have it under control, and I don’t want you burdened by being with me.”

“Taking care of you and loving you would never be a burden.”

“You say that now…”

She presses a finger to my lips. “No. You listen to me, Gage. Being with you ismychoice,” she says, pointing a finger on her other hand to her chest. “I would rather take that risk than never have another second with you in my life again. Do you understand me?”

I feel tears build again in my eyes. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” Relief laced with gratitude rushes through me. “Besides, when you love someone, you never really leave them alone, even after you’re gone. Look at my dad, look at Diane. They are still showing us they are with us.”

I pull her into my chest, closing my eyes as I breathe her in, as the reality that she wants me resonates in my chest. “I’m sorry I asked you to leave. I promise to never do that to you again.”

“I won’t ever leave, so it’s pretty pointless.” Her tenacity makes me laugh as tension begins to leave my body. “So what happens now, Gage? What kind of decisions do you want me to make with you?”

“Everything,” I say, smiling up at her. “I want you to fightforme andwithme, just like you said.”

She brings my lips to hers. “Then that’s what you’ll get.”

Thank fuck.

Chapter twenty-five

Hazel