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He sat down at the other end of the bed and ran his hand through his hair. “Maybe you could start pumping a little duringthe day so we can have bottles ready at night? That way you won’t have to get up every time.”

I leaned back in my pillows and frowned. “That’s a good idea.”

“You’re frowning.”

I realized I was and shook my head.

“Sorry. I’m just a little surprised. I’m used to getting up with him every night. I didn’t expect you to offer.”

His face was mostly in shadow but I could still see the way he scowled.

“I can help. I’m not useless, nor do I want to be a deadbeat dad who doesn’t help.”

Sighing, I leaned my head back against the headboard and looked up at the dark ceiling.

“That’s not what I said.”

“Is it what you think?”

“Mills...” I felt Lucky getting fussy and switched him to the other nipple. At times that was all it took for him to settle. “I don’t think you’re a deadbeat dad.”

His voice was deeper and I felt like he’d leaned closer the next time he spoke.

“But you think I’m an asshole.”

That made me smile. I looked at him and had to bite back a laugh. He was being almost human and I didn’t want to laugh in his face and ruin the momentary truce we’d happened upon.

“And you think I’m a whore trying to get something out of you.”

He winced and then ran his hands over his face.

“I don’t. Not anymore.”

We were quiet for a few minutes, the only sounds being the breathy little noises Lucky made while feasting. I thought about what it meant that Mills had changed his horrible opinion of me. Probably nothing. It had to be a good thing for co-parenting, though, that he didn’t hate me.

“I looked up some stuff about babies. He’s big for his age, isn’t he?”

Lucky was already falling asleep so I gently pulled him away and held him out for Mills.

“He’s incredibly big for his age. A few weeks ago we were in and out of the pediatrician’s office trying to make sure he was growing so fast for normal reasons. He is. He’s just got big daddies.”

Mills held Lucky close and stared down at him. He gently ran his finger over Lucky’s little cheek and smiled at the scowl Lucky gave, even in his sleep.

“Clearly, the scowling is a nature over nurture thing. I’m going to let everyone know that the next time they complain about my face.”

I moved closer after fixing my tank top and gently lifted the side of Lucky’s shirt. He had a little birthmark on his side that almost resembled a four-leaf clover. I didn’t know why I suddenly felt like sharing but it felt so rare to have a decent moment with Mills that I didn’t want it to end.

“I spent my entire pregnancy trying to think of a name. Harley, Mason, and I settled on three that we each wanted and decided on the day he was born that we’d look at him and decide.

“He could’ve been Matthew, Grady, or my pick, Peyton. When I saw him, though, and I got to hold him, I knew that none of those were right. This little birthmark and his eyes…they’re special. So, I named him Lucky and one of the nurses asked if I thought he’d be a gambler.” I rolled my eyes and let out a happy sigh. Having Lucky had been the best day of my life. He was the best thing to ever happen to me. “He doesn’t have a middle name yet. Maybe you’ll laugh at me but I had a lot of hope that you three would be happy about Lucky and I wanted to leave a part of his name, his birth, for you.”

Mills swallowed audibly and when I looked up at him, he was staring down at Lucky with clear emotion on his face. “You’re going to let us choose his middle name?”

“Yeah. Lucky having a father, or fathers, means so much to me, Mills. I’ve been honest this whole time. I didn’t come for money or anything else. I just want Lucky to have a dad in his life. I grew up pretty much without one and the men in my foster homes weren’t any kind of father figure I wanted or needed. I desperately wanted it, though, and I made some bad choices out of that desperation along the way. I know Lucky will make his own bad choices but I don’t want them to be because I never tried hard enough to give him both a mom and a dad.”

“Bad choices like selling yourself to older men at a sex club?” He saw my face shift and shook his head. “No, angel, I meant it in a real way. I’m asking. I’m not judging you.”

I shifted and wrapped my arms around myself.