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I laughed and listened, but half of me, I had to admit, wasn’t there.

It was home, in Quince Valley.

The tug I felt at my heart is stronger now, insistent, the way I’ve started feeling again when I’ve spent too long away from Lenny the guitar. Only bigger, stronger, and more full-body than anything I’ve ever felt. I tell myself it’s the need to be home, but inside my heart I know it’s more than that.

I know it’s the man with the floppy hair and gorgeous grin and fierce protectiveness of those he loves. The one I’m still upset with for letting his temper get the better of him. For hiding what he knew about Neil. But now, especially after meeting Simon again, I know, with my whole heart, that what Eli did was from a good place. Even if it was wrong.

Something Simon wouldn’t even have considered doing in a million years had their roles been reversed.

I drive the first leg of the trip, but after a couple of hours, my eyes start going bleary. I’ve hardly slept at all these past few days. Nora offers to drive the rest of the way, and I gladly accept. We pull over at a rest stop to switch seats, and while Nora’s using the restroom, I glance at my phone for the first time all day. I left it in the car for the museums, needing a full mini break from life and wanting to have the most fun I could with Nora before going back to reality.

The first thing I see is a handful of missed calls: one from a California number—Caroline, I think, though I don’t recognize the number. Not unusual though, she sometimes calls from her realtor company’s satellite offices. I messaged her this morning to tell her I’m passing on the condo. I don’t know what my future holds just yet but running away is no longer part of it.

But after Caroline, there are three missed calls from Eli.

And several texts.

ELI: Hey, I know we’re not supposed to talk until next week, but Jude said he and Cap are looking after Rufus because you and Nora went away but you wouldn’t say where to. After I finished throttling him for not making sure he knew where you guys were (NOT FOR REAL) I went for a run with Ruf, but I can’t stop worrying about you. I’m trusting everything is fine but…put my mind at ease, please?

ELI: Oh and I’ve got Rufus still. He won’t let me leave and also…I kind of want to hang out with him while you’re gone. Hope that’s okay. I’ll bring him back to Jude’s when I hear from you.

ELI: I miss you. I hope to Christ you’re okay. If I don’t hear from you by tonight though, I’m enlisting Griff. Sorry not sorry.

My heart swells, my eyes burning with tears.

REESE: I’m okay. Back around 11 so if you want, keep Rufus at your place.

ELI hearts the text, and because I’m a damn fool, I run my finger over the little pink heart as if I can touch him there.

“You okay?” Nora asks.

“Yeah, I’m good.” I stuff my phone back in my pocket. “I’m trying not to think about Eli. I’m trying to get him out of my head, but it’s impossible.”

Nora nods. “Maybe it’s a good thing to think about him?”

I huff. “That’s the thing though, I don’t know what to think. I’m still so angry at him for letting his temper take precedence over my feelings. I told him to back down and he didn’t. He risked his own future, the reputation of his family’s hotel, the TV show…”

“But you talked to Cass about the hotel stuff right?”

“I did.”

Right after Eli stormed out of that office, Cass had come over and given me a huge hug. She’s my boss, but she’s also my friend.

“I’m sorry for my idiot brother,” she’d said. I was surprised to see tears in her eyes too. “He knows not what he does.”

Then she’d sat down with me on the couch and told me a story.

“When we were kids, I got teased for being tall. People used to call me a man. But they only did it when Eli wasn’t around. One day though, he came across me right after it happened. He saw I’d been crying and demanded to know what had happened. So I told him. How could I not? The next day, he had me wear these boots I had with a heel at school. Then he just stood next to me all day asking if people wanted to call him short. And he’d smack his fist in his palm when he said it.”

“That barely makes sense,” I laughed through my tears.

“But it worked,” she said, laughing too.

I told her about the Neil thing after that, how Eli had hidden that from me, and she’d pinched her lips before telling me she already knew.

“What?”

“Kelly told me,” she said. “And she didn’t want anyone else to know. I’m sorry. She did say Eli set things as right as they could be. For you. And that…if you wanted to talk to her she was open to it. I’m sorry, Reese. I was going to wait until filming was over to tell you, but I see now that was wrong. You deserved to know.”