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“It’s a legitimate concern,” I countered, feeling the redness in my cheeks threaten to overwhelm me.

“Stewart, if you have fallen in love with someone—whoever it is—that person will be the luckiest person in the world. Because that is who you are. You are a genuinely nice man. Sometimes a bit too nice. Often stern and almost unapproachable, but that’s what made you so good at your job. Your old job. And you know, should you wish to put in some hours here, there are always shifts I can fill. But…I think that would be a step back for you. You need to walk forward, not back. And right now…”

“Yes?”

I was hoping for miracles. Wise words. Simple solutions to all my problems from this person in front of me. Someone who had been where I was…maybe.

What did I know? I shook my head.

“Does this person know you hold affection for them?”

“No. Of course not.”

“Do they show affection for you back?”

“He’s a straight guy. A father. No rainbow flags in sight.”

My blush got worse. What was I saying?

“It’s not always about that. Or about showing who you are on the inside on the outside. Not everyone is like me. I’m obvious. My dear husband? Straight-presenting as anything. You’d never know, apart from how he looks at me. That’s where you have to start. Give him smiles. Touch his arm. Tell him how much you appreciate his friendship. Then take it from there.”

“Sounds like a friendship,” I mumbled.

“Do you want it to be? Or do you want the whole intimacy part too?”

Did I?

It felt like another gut punch. I didn’t know. I had no idea. I had no clue what I wanted. I was jumping the gun, getting way ahead of the game, and I hadn’t thought any of it through. I was flustered. Losing my mind.

“Mr Schiller, you’re needed.”

Anoushka appeared out of nowhere. What was it with this place, full of ghosts walking through walls?

“Stewart, here’s my card.” Mabel shoved it into my hand. “I’ve put my private number on the back. Call me. Anytime. Send me a text. Come over for a coffee. If you need to talk, I will always listen. But don’t be scared of taking that leap. Try. Because if you don’t, you’ll spend the rest of your life wonderingwhat if.”

“I know,” I said. And I actually did.

12. Dylan

The relief of getting into Stewart’s car was immense, and I slumped down on the back seat like the entitled twat I apparently was.

“You can sit up front if you like,” he said softly. “I’m not on a paid job, you know.”

He grimaced, like he’d just realised what he’d insinuated, and I squirmed on the inside for the exact same reason. I still sat there, frozen in place, unable to move.

Thecar engine was running.

“Is Jean not coming?”

“She’s finalising paperwork with Gun. Setting up a schedule. And then she’s running errands, so I was told to leave them to it. We can go.”

“Not going until you come sit up front so I can talk to you,” he said.

I appreciated that, more than I could put into words. I opened the door and skirted around to the front passenger seat, with the doorman chasing me, trying to help me inside like I was a child. His job, I knew that. But still.

“Let’s go,” I said. He nodded.

Was this what we’d become? Two-word sentences?