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I never had, and I knew what a weak coward that made me. I was fine here, and the mere thought of putting myself inside a metal tube and allowing myself to be hurled straight up into the sky? No. Not for me.

“Dad, I would really love to see you. I get lonely too, you know? Gray’s on set all day, sometimes long into the night. The kids have the tutor who comes and does lessons in the morning, and I just roll around here like a spare part. We could go to the beach. Cook nice food.”

“You can’t cook, son.”

“No, but Gray can, and he batch-cooks on his days off. We eat like kings. Also, they have personal chefs out here, and you can get someone to come to your home every day and do all your meals.”

“Ridiculous,” I muttered. He laughed.

“Yeah, I agree. But seriously—”

“I’m very busy,” I lied. “I look after your house and feed the cats and hoover like a normal person. And Michelle got me another driving job next week.”

“It’s all freelance, and you don’treallyneed the money, do you? You’re supposed to be relaxing.”

“Bah.” I peered around the curtain again. My neighbour was back on his own little patio now, scrunched up in a chair, hugging himself. That bathrobe looked older than him, and they both needed a damn good wash. “He’s at it again,” I said.

“Who?”

“The bloke at number eight.”

“Never thought you’d become such a curtain twitcher, Dad.”

“Not a curtain twitcher,” I protested with a quiet laugh, because I actually was and hoped that dirty-dressing-gown-man couldn’t hear me. “I’m just concerned. There’s something not right with him.”

“Like I said, Dad, you’re bored and lonely, and it needs to stop. You should take up a hobby. Do some classes. Go to that social club down the road.”

“No chance. They’re all around eighty down there.”

“And?”

“And it looks dull as dishwater. I’m not that old yet, Reubs, and I’m not lonely either. I’m just… I don’t know. Unsettled. I didn’t think it would affect me this much, being here on my own.”

“Which is why you should get over yourself and get on a plane. The kids miss you so much, and you’d love it out here. I mean, it’s America! Somewhere different. Different foods, different air, and the weather—”

“No.” I was getting tired of the constant begging. I wasn’t up for that, however desperate I was to see the four of them.

It had just been me and Reuben for years. Then all of a sudden, he was married and the kids turned up, and my life had exploded into a carnival. Now there was nothing but silence, and it was driving me mad. I could see it. So could everyone else.

“The film’s going well then?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

“Gray is doing his own stunts again, and he’s really not up to it. The bulk he put on is weird. Jasmine calls him balloon man. Those biceps are just ridiculous.”

“I bet you like it,” I teased, and saw Reuben’s answering smirk. He looked happy, healthy, sitting in the garden with the pool glittering behind him—a picture-postcard setting. He deserved it, he really did. We’d come a long way from that council house in Peckham to this too big townhouse in Marylebone, where Reuben and his ultra-weird-and-famous husband Graham, who was actually the most normal person I knew, lived with the kids upstairs and I had this basement flat, all to myself. Well, me plus two mongrel cats who lived to make my life miserable, scratched me if I came too close and poopedon the grass instead of in the fancy automatic litter box upstairs in the kitchen.

“Dad, go outside. Touch some grass. Then read that book I sent you.”

“Read a book, he says…”

“Hey! I read a book—awholeone.”

“Blimey! I blame that husband of yours.”

“So do I, but at least I half understand the scenes when he’s rehearsing. Not that I’m any kind of actor. Jay’s good at it, though. He gets all into the role and pretends he’s part of the film for real. I can see him going into acting. I’m going to put him in some kind of drama class when we get back to the UK.”

That couldn’t happen soon enough as far as I was concerned. “What about Jasmine? Is she into acting?”

“Nah. She just laughs, but back to what we were talking about—if you’re not going to come see us, then do something about getting out of the house. Get a job. Just part-time maybe. Two days a week or something.”