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“Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing.”
“Well, this is how I see it.” He used the same line he often used on me. “There’s two of you and two open seats at our table.”
Sue looked nervous, and I noticed she wiped her hands on her pants when they walked toward us. I didn’t blame her. I had a feeling Tracy may have hoped we’d be here today and set up this little encounter.
“Nice to know you’re okay.” Sue eased onto the bench seat, looking unsure what to do. “When did you get back?”
“A few months ago.” I kept it vague.
“Oh.” She blinked a few times, unhappy with my answer.
“What’s the deal with you two?” Zack wasted no time breaking into our private moment. “Were you dating before or something?” I glared at him and hated myself instantly for opening my mouth to him about us.
Tracy looked at both of us, waiting for either of us to speak. We didn’t.
“They met for two days, and then the next he was gone,” Tracy explained.
“In the field behind my house.” I had to say it, but I kept my voice low. I didn’t want Sue to think I’d ever forget our short time together. It had meant too much to me. I wasn’t sure how she felt about it.
“Months we spent in the damn jungle.” Zack shook his head like the shit he was. “And never once did you mention this. Why?”
“Yeah, why?” Tracy played into his shit-giving.
“I’m kind of curious, too,” Sue whispered, and it made my chest hurt.
“Let it go,” I grunted to Zack, who quickly saw I wasn’t in the mood to play anymore. Guilt flooded me.
“Should we order?” He changed the topic, and I noticed Sue’s face fell.
I hated to hurt her, but I was a different person now, and I still hadn’t figured out who that was.
We made small talk, and all the while I studied the room. I tried to tune out the noises that suddenly made me uneasy. I needed to know everything. One lady at the counter, one at the door, two men in the corner, and a kid was at the gumball machine. Whenever someone would move, my eyes moved to them, and I reset my map of the room.
It was exhausting, and it was one of the reasons I didn’t like to leave our property. It was the main reason I didn’t feel ready for her. I felt angry with myself for letting my guard down enough to come here again.
“Hey.” Sue leaned over, and I noticed we were alone at the table. How did I miss my buddy leaving the table? “Are you all right?”
“Yeah.”
“You seem nervous.”
“I don’t like public places so much anymore.”
“Okay.” She threaded her purse through her arm and stood. “Then let’s go.”
I let out a relieved breath and walked her out. I called out a thanks to Patty on the way. Once out in the parking lot, I stopped her.
“Look,” I closed my eyes and wished I was better at this, “I’m sorry I didn’t call. A part of me assumed you’d moved on.”
“We barely know each other, Daniel.” I could tell she really didn’t think that was true. We may not have shared a lot of deep personal things, but we shared the little things, and somehow those counted the most. “I’m not angry, but can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Areyou okay?”
That was a hard question to answer.
“Most of the time, yes.” I went with the truth. “And for the record, I may not have shared you with the guys, but I did think about you every day.”