Page 42

But I did. Because some part of me still hated letting people down. Still wasn’t ready to be the one to tell her the truth. Still wasn’t ready for the mess that was about to come with it. But I couldn’t avoid it forever. I had already made my choice. And after tomorrow, she’d know it too.

I saton my grandpa’s couch, my phone in my lap, barely paying attention to the sounds of Christmas music playing in the background. My mama and Pop were talking about something, laughing, but my head wasn’t in it.

I had already decidedI was ending things with Gianna before I left tomorrow. I just wasn’t sure if I was ready for what was coming next.

My phone buzzed in my lap and a part of me was happy seeing Serenity’s name on the screen, the other part was racked with guilt about what had happened the night before.

I swiped to answer, slipping into the kitchen for some space.

"Merry Christmas," I murmured, my voice lower than I meant for it to be.

I could hear the smile in her voice. "Merry Christmas, Langston." Just hearing her made some of the tension in my chest ease. "How’s home?" she asked.

I leaned against the counter. "It’s home. You know how that go."

"Yeah," she said softly. "You okay?"

I hesitated, because I wasn’t.

"Yeah," I lied. "Just thinking about some shit."

She didn’t press, but I knew she already had a feeling. "Gianna?" she asked after a moment.

I exhaled, running a hand over my face. "Yeah. I gotta talk to her tomorrow before I head back."

She was quiet, and for a second, I thought maybe she was gonna ask more. "You know what you wanna say?"

"Not really. But I know it has to be done."

I left out the part about last night. The guilt twisted deeper, sitting heavy in my chest.

"You got this, Creed," she said, her voice soft. “I know it’s not easy and honestly, I wouldn’t be too mad if you decided not to go through with it. I don’t ever want to put you in a position where you think you’re not going to be comfortable. Maybe, we just need to still just be?—”

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Don’t try to talk me out of this. It’s just a little bit of nerves, but I’ll figure it out.” I wished I could believe the words coming out of my own mouth. "What about you?" I asked, changing the subject. "How’s LA?"

"It’s good. Sevyn got me this new necklace for Christmas. It’s beautiful."

"Oh yeah?" I smirked. "You gotta show me when I get back."

"I will."

“So you talked to your mama?”

“We said “hi” to one another.”

“Serenity.”

There was a pause, and then she sighed.

"Alright, I’mma let you go. Just… don’t let your guilt make you second guess what you know you have to do."

I closed my eyes for a second.

"Yeah," I murmured. "I know."