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But I also wasn’t telling her the whole truth. Because even though I wasn’t touching Serenity, she was still on my mind in a way Gianna wasn’t. And that? That was probably worse.

“Okay, so what is it for real then?”

“I just told you what it was Gianna. I don’t know what else you want me to say.” I was gaslighting her, hoping she would take the bait.

Truth was, I could have found time to call her, but I hadn’t because my line was always readily available for that little chocolate girl in New York. The one with the deep dimple in her left cheek that made my heart go crazy whenever she smiled. The one who’s curly hair was usually wild and free whenever she wasn’t dancing in which case it would be pinned up in ahigh bun. The one who made me laugh without trying. It was so natural with her and with Gianna, especially lately; it felt forced.

“I just—I just want you to think about me for a second. I’m trying to be supportive, but I want my time too.”

“And you will have it Gi, once I finish this year, complete the draft and have you sitting pretty somewhere laced in diamonds.” I knew it was what she wanted to hear, so I said it.

There was a brief pause.

I don’t know what I expected her to say, was hopeful that she would actually tell me she didn’t give a damn about sitting pretty laced in diamonds but instead she said;

“Fine.”

And that’s when I knew, she was probably with me for the wrong reasons. That shit hurt.

“Aight, let me go. I’m about to grab some food and then lay down; got a long day tomorrow.”

“Okay Baby.” She sighed. “I love you Creed.”

“Love you too Gi.” I replied before disconnecting the line.

I threw my phone down on the bed next to me staring up at the ceiling as the conversation went through my head. Was I wrong for gaslighting her, I knew I was. But at the same time, I put little fillers out there to test her and Gianna seemed to fail every single time. The correct answer was for her to insist I make more time for her, not be satisfied with me telling her what I was going to do for her.

Shit was off and if I’m being honest with myself, I knew it a while back. During the summer, I noticed some shit that had me questioning her loyalty to me. When we were together her phone stayed buzzin and she stayed ignoring it. A couple of times, I would catch her smiling at her phone and I was sitting next to her, there was no fucking reason for her to be smiling at it. Who besides me was making my girlfriend of ten plus years smile from ear to ear? When I brought it up, she waved me off, like Iwas trippin. The more I thought about it, the more I was starting to think that maybe, just maybe it was time to let go. I hated it, but it was the reality I was living in.

Before I could think too hard on it, I heard a knock at the front door of the apartment. Seconds later, I heard Donovan calling my name so I hopped up out of bed and made my way out of my bedroom.

“What’s up Don?”

“Door is for you.” He replied walking back towards the couch where he was watching ESPN. I made my way to the door and was confused seeing someone standing there holding a bag of food.

“I ain’t order no food.” I told the delivery man as soon as I got to the door. “You might got the wrong place.”

“Creed Langston?” he asked looking at the name on the slip.

“Yeah, but I ain’t order?—”

“Somebody named Serenity ordered it for you.” He confirmed still reading the slip before handing the bag of food to me. “Enjoy the rest of your night.” He walked away leaving me standing there with the bag.

I closed the door, walked past Don and went into the kitchen placing the bag down on the counter. From this close I could smell the shrimp fried rice. I checked the slip on the bag and saw it was from Big Wong’s in New York.

“What the fuck?” I opened the bag and saw an assortment of food, including Shrimp fried rice, sweet and sour chicken, egg foo young, and egg rolls. A couple of times, I’d be in New York kicking it with her and her favorite thing to order was Big Wong’s Chinese food. I loved their food too, it was different from the Chinese here in Jersey and definitely different from the Chinese in Texas.

Smiling, I grabbed a plate and started piling food onto it. Once I was done, I passed Donovan up and let him know therewas food in the kitchen before going into my bedroom and shutting the door. I immediately grabbed my phone and called Serenity, placing the call on speaker.

“Creedy Reedy.” She answered the phone, and I laughed.

“Stop calling me that shit SB.”

“Stop calling me Tootie and I will.” She laughed as well. “I take it your food arrived.”

“How the fuck did you convince them to drive an hour away to bring this to me?” I asked putting a spoonful of food into my mouth.

“I tipped them well. I figured you would be hungry after a long day at practice and you eating a noodle cup just devastated me.”