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“You actually look excited about this,” he muttered as we turned to face the arbor that had been set up for the bride near one of the side entrances.
Thebride.Mybride.
I ignored my best man as my sister came walking toward me. Regardless of the circumstances that had led me here, in a short while, Jessica would be wearing my ring and for the next year, we would share a home and a bed. Neither one of us would become involved with anyone else.
That was a real marriage.
Jessica appeared seconds after Amelia took her place and I took in the sight of her, greedy for it after going thirty-six hours and counting without seeing her. We’d talked, but there’d been enough things we both needed to get done that the conversations had been brief.
Her eyes swept over the guests and lingered on her parents for a beat before coming to meet mine. She was paler than normal, and I thought I could see a shadow in her eyes, but she was beautiful, so fucking beautiful.
My gaze locked on her lips for a moment, and I imagined the taste of them, the feel of her skin…that skin. I let my eyes roam over it and found myself studying her gown. It was almost plain compared to the other one, but I was glad she’d changed it. It highlighted her curves with its stark simplicity, the off-shoulder design giving it a sweet innocence I found appealing. The longer I looked, the more I liked it. Dragging my gaze upward, I shifted my attention to her face as she joined me at the front of the room.
She certainly was pale.
Was she that nervous?
The priest began the ceremony and I assured myself that it’d all be over soon enough. Jessica’s anxiety would disappear, and everything would be great. I barely listened to the words, replying automatically when it was my time. Then it was her turn.
“Do you, Jessica, take Derrick to be your husband?”
I smiled at her.Soon,I thought. I wanted this over. I wanted her naked.
I wanted her—
“I…don’t,” she said.
I stared at her as everyone gasped.
“What?” I asked, even though I’d heard her. Loud as day, clear as a bell, although I sure as hell had to havemisunderstoodher.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, backing up as tears brimmed in her eyes. “I…I just can’t do this. I can’t marry you.”
Without another word, she turned on her heel and sped away while I stood there, dumbfounded and staring after her, unable to even think as chaos exploded around me.
TWENTY-EIGHT
JESSICA
I hit the street,only stopping when I saw the familiar yellow paint of a taxi. I flagged it down and held my breath until it stopped in front of me. I didn’t breathe until I was inside, and my hands were shaking as I tucked them into my lap and tried to still the mad beating of my heart.
Sick inside, tears threatening to blind me, I had to concentrate before I could look up at the cabbie without crying.
“You okay, miss?”
“Um, sure.” I managed a smile, but it lasted maybe ten seconds before it faded. “Can you take me…” I stopped, not knowing where to go. Then I remembered. Of course, I had somewhere to go. I gave him my address, thankful I’d decided to have my things moved while I was on my honeymoon rather than ahead of time.
My honeymoon.
Fuck.
My stomach flipped and if I’d eaten anything today, I would’ve lost it all right there.
“Sure.” He eyed me strangely but said nothing and pulled away from the curb.
Considering I was obviously wearing a wedding dress, I had to give him credit for not asking questions. A dull ache at the back of my head pulsed in time with my racing heart. Despite my stomach being empty, I felt like I’d be sick and fought to breathe slowly, steadily, hoping to calm it. If I started puking, I’d have a migraine, which would just cap everything off perfectly.
The way Derrick had looked at me…It’d beenwantI’d seen. Desire. Not love. Not even the caring and respect that came from a solid friendship. Just lust. And while that might’ve been fine for sex, I couldn’t see it as a basis for a real marriage lasting a year.