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“Make yourself comfortable,” I said. “Can I get you a drink?”
“No, that’s okay.” When I moved to lean against the desk in front of her, she added, “I don’t mind if you pour yourself one though.”
I shook my head. “I’ve been cutting back.”
I caught a flicker of surprise in her eyes before it disappeared behind a softer, more serious expression.
“I had to come by and thank you in person for what you did,” she said. “It means more than you can know. Not just to my parents either, but to everyone in that building. Thank you.”
I shifted, unable to look directly at her in case she could read the emotions on my face. “It was the right thing to do.”
Her hand on my knee snapped my gaze to hers and I swallowed hard at the look in her eyes. I knew that look. I’d seen it plenty of times before. I’d just never realized what it meant because it wasn’t like anything I’d ever seen before, not directed at me. Women in my past had told me that they loved me, but it’d been my money or my position that they’d wanted. Jessica just wanted me, and I hadn’t let myself see it.
“I get it now,” I said quietly. “I’m done trying to buy you.”
“Derrick…”
I held up a hand. “Please, just let me say this.”
“Okay.” Jessica looked like she wasn’t sure where this was going but she let me continue.
“I had shitty examples of what it meant to love someone, but now I see that it’s about what’s best for them, not what I want. And what’s best for you is to have your family taken care of. That’s what matters.”
The stunned look on her face spoke volumes and I realized that my sister and Drew had been right all along. Jessica had called off our wedding because she hadn’t just wanted me. She’d been in love with me, but I hadn’t known yet that I loved her too. Maybe it was too late for us, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t at least make sure she didn’t hate me.
“I – I…” She shook her head. “I honestly don’t know how to respond to that.”
“It’s all right.” I smiled and stood up straight. “I don’t expect anything in return. Thank you for bringing me my meal and for what you said.”
She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “No, Derrick. Thankyou.”
A moment passed between us and then she dropped my hand and stepped away. She said good-night and headed for the door. Near panic flared and I had the sudden thought that if she walked out now, I might never see her again.
“What are you doing tomorrow night for New Years Eve?” I blurted. When she stopped at the door and looked back at me, I swallowed hard.
“Why? You don’t already have a date?”
She said the question nonchalantly, but something in her eyes told me she was asking more than about tomorrow night.
“I haven’t had a date in a while,” I said honestly. “Not since summer, actually.”
“Why’s that?” Her voice quavered ever so slightly.
My gaze locked with hers. “The only woman I want to date hasn’t talked to me in a while because I was an ass.”
A hint of a smile curved her lips. “Maybe if you play your cards right, she’ll–.”
“Agree to be my New Year’s Eve date at the Governor’s Ball?” I dared to ask.
After a moment, she said quietly, “I think she might.”
My heart gave an unsteady thump.
“I’ll see you.” She smiled as she turned away again.
I watched her walk out and wondered how in the world things had changed so fast in such a short amount of time. Only a couple hours ago, I thought I’d done something nice for the woman I’d realized I loved but wouldn’t ever be with. Now, I’d confessed my feelings, had her thank me for what I did, and might be able to kiss her when the ball dropped tomorrow.
I arranged my food without really thinking about it, then settled back in my chair. I’d only taken two bites when I realized exactly how my book needed to end.