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Doubting my better sense, I take her command. I drag my cock out slowly, and thrust into her again. She clutches my ass in her hand, inspiring me to go deeper. She bucks her hips, begging for friction. I know she wants more, but she’s so tense, I’m going to split her in two if I fuck her the way I want. The way she’s squeezing the life out of my cock, I know any sudden movement will cause her serious pain. “Slow down. Relax for me.”
She drops her hips to the bed. Her tits rise as she takes a deep breath.
“There you go, sweetheart. Slow is good too.” The saliva pools in my mouth and I angle my head to let it free right over her swollen, pink clit. It drips over both of us, making my movements smoother. “There it is. How’s that?”
She answers with a throaty moan. Her whole body in a cathartic trance as she melts into the mattress and lets me work her over with long, languid pumps into her throbbing heat. There’s not a proper word in the English language to describe her pussy.Goodis an insult.Paradisefalls short. “Baby,baby, goddamn, you’re my fucking angel. But stop moaning like that, you’re going to make me come.”
She can’t stop. Between her whimpering and gasping, the way her mouth stays open and her expression is twisted up in uncontrollable, needy greed, I can’t hold on any longer. I pull out at the last minute, coming on her stomach.
We breathe in stillness for a while. Her eyes fall shut, as she escapes into her personal euphoric sedation. I roll over and lie down next to her, searching for her hand. I weave my fingers through hers and hold her tightly.
“What’s going through your head?”
“Right now?” she murmurs, hoarsely.
“Mhm.”
“I can’t tell you.” Her voice cracks. “It’s too soon. It’ll scare you away.”
I smile to myself, assuming what she means. I thought sex with another woman would be wrought with sadness and remorse. But I don’t feel anything right now except calm. Outside of my physical satiation, I’m relieved it feels different. Sex with Spencer has nothing to do with past intimacy. It gives me sincere hope that falling in love again doesn’t mean I’m replacing Elise. It means I’m living again, which is what I know she wanted for me.
And even if I can’t do it for myself, I can do it for Spencer. Even if I’m scared to dive in, this woman deserves a man who wakes up with gratitude every day. One who decorates her, head to toe, in rare jewels. A man who defends her honor and becomes enemies with the ones who’ve wronged her. She deserves a man who hates rodents but nearly gave a guinea pig mouth-to-mouth because he loves her so fucking much, it inevitably spills over into every other interaction.
And maybe there’s another guy out there who is just as worthy…
Maybe worthier.
But we’ll never find out. Because I’ll be damned if I ever let go.
Spencer squeezes my hand twice. “Still with me?”
“Yeah, I’m here.”
“What’s going throughyourhead?”
Rolling onto my side, I nuzzle her neck, then plant a soft kiss on her temple. “Can’t tell you. It’ll scare you away.”
41
Spencer
“Charlie!” I shout down the hall.
“I’m almost ready!” she yells back. “Chill.”
The nerve of this kid. I’m ready to go. Spike is ready to go. Charlie, as usual, is holding up the entire operation spending an extra twenty minutes in the bathroom this morning carefully putting on her new makeup. I think Nathan sexed me into a blissfully permissive state, because on Sunday I took Charlie to Ulta and told her she’s now allowed to wear mascara. I didn’t anticipate how much time a few swipes of mascara would add to our morning routine.
There’s a light knock on the front door of the guesthouse, surprising me.
It can’t be Nathan. He left early this morning to meet with someone named Hodge. I remember specifically because I told him Hodge would be a cute nickname for a hedgehog. Nathan then told me if I brought any more rodents into his home, he was going to spank my bare ass. I pretended to scowl, but good grief, that threat does things to my insides. A part of me wants to provoke him into delivering, just to see.
We fucked all weekend. We also had sex. I think we also made love. I shamelessly let Charlie have her iPad and junk food for an entire day so Nathan and I could steal away and explore each other’s bodies. I wasn’t ashamed or clumsy. I stay focused on feeling good…on making him feel good, and just like my friends advised, it fell into rhythm. I’m not sure why I always thought hot sex was about attractiveness and technique. Turns out, it’s about trust.
When I open the door, I’m greeted by a man in a black suit and sunglasses. He looks like he just stepped off the set ofThe Matrix. “Hello?”
He peels off his sunglasses and flashes me a toothy grin. “Hey, Ms. Spencer. I’m Miller. Mr. Hatcher sent me to take you to work.”
I squint in confusion. “Uh, I think we got our wires crossed. I take my little sister to school, then go to work.”