Page 107

“Of course. You think I’m going to parade you around in your underwear? Leave the dress, I’ll clean it up. There should be robes in the hotel room.”
Her smile is weak. “Thanks.”
The elevator dings again and I have to kick the closing doors with my foot so they pop back open. “That’s your cue.”
She takes a step, then doubles back. “Okay. One more thing… When you’re in L.A. at the bachelor party, are you going to…um… Well, you’re going as single, right?”
No, she doesn’t get to look at me with those sad puppy-dog eyes. She turned me down. She’s the one walking away. “I didn’t think about it, but yeah, I guess.”
She swallows hard. “Should be fun.”
I shrug passively. “Goodnight, Spencer.”
Dragging her feet through the threshold, she trudges out of the elevator, leaving me alone with the tattered dress, corset, and the wreckage of tonight.
Of all the ways I thought tonight would end, the only thing I didn’t prepare for was alone.
35
Spencer
I’ve never done anything like this before in my life.
Fist raised, ready to knock, I nearly turn around, fleeing from Lennox’s porch. I’ve heard girls do this: drop in on each other when they’re in need, no apologies, just blind faith in the fierce bond that is sisterhood. I’ve just never had this before.
For five years my life has been filled with duties and obligations. Taking care of Charlie is what drove me. Work, school, and my sister are all I made time for, so while all my peers were bonding and developing lifelong friendships, I made peace with being alone. Even when I met Jesse, I felt alone. Actually, I think that’s why I dated him for so long, and agreed to marry him. He didn’t really see me. I was more of a consistent prop in his life. He didn’t pay too much attention. He didn’t want too much of me.
Nathan’s his antithesis. The way he looked at me in the elevator last weekend set me on fire. All I could think about is how bad it would hurt if Nathan saw too much of me, and what if he woke up from whatever spell he’s under. What if he saw me for what I am, and laughed?
I’m not crazy enough to think my boss would point and sneer like a grade-school bully. I’mwaitingfor him to see how mismatched we are. He’s disgustingly rich, I live paycheck to paycheck. He’s sexy, dripping with swagger. I’m constantly tripping over my feet. Nathan is built of bone and thick muscle, and I’m as soft as the Pillsbury Doughboy. I can’t fathom what he sees in me. I don’t know why he looks at me like I’m his sweet escape. It doesn’t make sense, the same way it didn’t make sense when the senior starting quarterback set his eyes on the nobody freshman.
I ran from Nathan because I was scared and that’s what I do…
But I don’t want to run away from my insecurities anymore, which is why I’m here. Sucking in a breath and holding it, I knock firmly on Lennox’s door.
She answers and lights up, a surprised smile on her face until she sees the bag of Chinese food I’m holding. “Are you DoorDashing on the side?”
“No. Did you order DoorDash?” Shit. I didn’t think of that. It’s seven o’clock on a Friday night. I was just worried she wouldn’t be home.
“We should’ve. Avery was supposed to make dinner.” She raises her voice. “But three different types of dip isn’t dinner,” she calls over her shoulder.
Avery shouts something back I can’t make out.
“Oh, I didn’t mean to interrupt. Your husbands are here too?”
“Yes, funny thing about husbands—once you marry them, they’re constantly around. Avery and I were just talking about how we need—” Stopping short, her features contort. She holds her belly, clamping just underneath her belly button.
“Oh my God. Are you okay?” In my panic, I drop the bag of Chinese food. “Is it time? Hospital?”
She exhales. “This kid has to cook for at least four more months. He’s just trying to expand his real estate by rearranging my organs.” Lennox flashes me a smirk as she points to the bag on the ground. “You may come in if there’s lo mein in there.”
“Yes,” I giggle. “Two kinds.”
“I’m kidding. You and Charlie are always welcome in my home. Where is she anyway? You guys are always attached at the hip.”
“Birthday-party sleepover.” In a show of solidarity, Claire refused to go to the birthday party that she got invited to but Charlie didn’t. Miraculously, Charlie got her invitation the day after Claire declined. I am forever grateful to that little girl for being an angel when she should be in her brat era.
“Are you okay, hon?”