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She confirms my suspicion with a sad little bob of her head. I try to find her gaze but she’s staring at her lap.Oh, sweetheart.Don’t even go there.
“If you think for one second I’d get over you that quickly, you must not know how I feel about you,” I assure her.
She finally looks at me. Her light chocolate-brown eyes are glistening under the patio lights. “I thought I blew it and maybe you were trying to forget everything that happened between us.”
“I couldn’t forget if I tried. And I don’t want to.” I inch closer, craving her warmth. But I know once I get too close, there’s no stopping me. I’ve waited too long. I’m going to take her right here on this pool chair, for starters. Round two in the bedroom. Round three in the shower. I’m going to love this woman until my body collapses. There’s just one thing. “Where’s Charlie?”
“A sleepover party she got invited to at the last minute.”
Oh, thank fuck.“Good. I’m glad she’s making more friends.”
“Me too.”
“Are you mad I pulled her on stage and asked her to perform at the charity event last week?” I ask.
Spencer assures me she’s not. That’s…new.
“You sure? Because this is a topic you get pretty huffy about… We share the same worries, Spencer. I promise. I would never put her in harm’s way. Do you trust me?”
“I do,” she answers so confidently, it’s all the reassurance I need. My fingers itch to rip the blanket off her and pull her into my lap where I can hold her the way I desperately want, but she continues. “I mean with everything. I want to tell you the truth.”
There’s been so many secrets between us, I’m not sure which truth she’s talking about. “What does that mean?”
“There’s something else that happened with Casey but it was hard to talk about… Wait, you said you knew the real story.”
Shit.Sorry, Dawn. I’ve no choice but to blow your cover. “Dawn slipped.”
“So you know about the real reason I left school?”
I swallow the fiery lump in my throat as I’m reminded of it. It’s not just the circumstance. It’s picturing Spencer crying, alone, having her beautiful, healthy body shamed for reasons that only drunk, idiot college kids could justify. She was a woman before they could understand what that means. A real man sees curves and a plentiful body as sinfully seductive, something he can bury into and get lost in. The poor girl was beyond her years, lost in a pen of blind, shallow pigs.
Dawn said those posters read “cow.” The dumbasses were so uneducated, they didn’t know how to spell “queen.”
“And now that it’s all on the table, how do you feel about me?” Spencer asks. She takes in a deep breath and shows me a piercing stare. “Tell me the truth.”
“You first… Why did you lie?” What she told me about Casey was a lie by omission, but still a lie. She had me thinking he was the better man, and I’d lost her to him somehow.
“Because I didn’t want you to see my scars. I wanted you to see the good version of me.”
“Spencer.” My mind is jumbled, so many thoughts competing to be the first words out of my mouth. I don’t know where to start. It’s scary how quickly I got here again. Elise said something similar years ago. She didn’t want me to see her scars. She felt weak and pathetic for staying with Peter for so long. I had to remind her over and over again she wasn’t weak for staying, she was strong for leaving. Her scars were marks of her determination, survival, her will to live, and her everlasting love for her daughter. Her scars were admirable. Just as Spencer’s are.
Now I’ve come full circle, once again falling for a woman who doesn’t know her own power. She carries the world on her shoulder, and still apologizes when she barely stumbles.
“Why did you leave me on read? That hurt,” Spencer says before I can collect a coherent thought.
Oh.She thought I was ignoring her? How could she possibly think I could ignore a gesture like that? “Casey was there. I just found out what he did and stormed out of the party when you texted me. I damn near had a heart attack. I couldn’t think straight. I got in the car and started driving. I needed to tell you in person.”
“Tell me what?” Her voice cracks as her eyes light up. She wants my confession as badly as I want to make it.
“That I know what this picture means. I know what it must’ve taken for you to send it after everything you’ve been through. I’ll protect it.And you.You’re safe with me.”
She nods, mumbling in agreement, looking like she might cry if she tries to say more. But I don’t want her to be sad. We’ve both been sad for so long. Right now, I just want her to feel good.
“It was a very nice picture.” I try to layer a hint of seduction in my voice. It’s been a while since I’ve done this.
“Are you going to keep it?”
I slide her a grin. “It’s already my wallpaper.”