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She seemed anxious to see this exodus from the ship happen soon.

She seemed anxious to see Dubai happen soon.

I remembered Terian’s anxiousness as we spoke as well, and while I still couldn’t believe anything he told me, or trust how I felt while he said it, a part of me couldn’t help but notice the parallels with the vibe I got off Kali.

There was definitely something different about her light.

Wreg commented on it, too, and even Jon, the one time he tried to pull me aside to figure out what was going on with me.

By then, even Revik was giving me some amount of space.

He never wandered far, though… not until he had to return to the tank when his clock ran down again.

Before then, I often found his eyes on me, measuring me, weighing my light. And yeah, I couldn’t really blame him. I knew how I probably seemed. It wasn’t even just about my mother and Uye, not anymore. They were talking about taking Lily. They were talking about leaving with my child while Revik and I went to Dubai.

I could tell myself it was temporary.

I could hear others, including Balidor, call these people her grandparents.

I heard them tell me they would take me and Revik to herimmediately,as soon as the op was finished. None of it mattered. None of it got past my visceral reaction to the bare fact of handing my kid over to these people… to any people, really. Just thinking about it brought up a panic in my light so intense I couldn’t think past it.

At the end of the day, though, I could feel the truth in Kali’s words.

I knew she was right.

I couldn’t see the future, not like she and Terian could.

But I could feel this thing. I could feel it coming. I could see it when I closed my eyes, like clouds massing on the horizon.

To my heart, it didn’t matter. The idea of losing Lily again, so soon after we’d finally gotten her back, felt like being asked to hack off one of my limbs.

I started to hate everyone who wanted to reassure me it would be okay.

So I didn’t say a lot, especially by the end.

When I finally returned to the ship, with plans to meet with Kali and Uye and the rest of them again the next day, I just wanted to sleep.

Revik had been back at the carrier for over three hours by then… well past the end of his two-hour shut-in period. I suspected being forced to leave early frustrated him, but he’d been quiet towards the end of those talks, too.

Maybe he was having his own issues about Lily.

Maybe he was having issues with me.

He definitely seemed to have issues with Kali still, although I tried to pretend I didn’t notice. Just like I tried to pretend Dalejem wasn’t staring at the two of us most of the time we were on that beach.

Whatever was going on with Revik, by the time I returned to our room in the tank, Revik wasn’t there anymore. I found a note on the night table saying he’d gone to see Yumi.

I didn’t bother to wonder about why he’d chosen that day to go see her––I was pretty sure I knew why.

So no, I didn’t wonder about him.

I more wondered if I should go see Yumi myself.

I was still thinking about that when I fell asleep on top of the bed with my clothes on. The only thing I managed to pull off before I passed out were my boots.

* * *

I wokeup to hands on me, light pulling at mine, fingers sliding under my shirt to caress my skin. When I turned over from where I’d been lying on my side, his eyes were glowing, enough that I could see the bare edges of his face.