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I wasn’t really sure, but what came out of my mouth was, “Dan and Reaper. They’re going to find us.”Surely, I knew that Zion wouldn’t have left them alive.

“Izel, stop.” Gabriel rushes to my side, focusing on fixing my blanket as he says, “Dan’s dead.”

I feel like I should know this, but for some reason I can’t process the words he’s saying. Dan can’t be dead; he seemed unkillable. The number of nights I dreamed about just slitting his throat, shooting him. About doing anything to just get away from him. And now for him to just be dead, I can’t breathe. I can’t believe it.

“Reaper, he uh, well, he got away, but Zion’s doing everything he can to find him. He’s got Aziza, that girl you saved, apparently, she’s this genius and can hack into anything. She’s really good at finding people. But, well, I guess she’s looking into Reaper, and promises to find him.”

I must be frowning because Gabriel taps my nose, gently but enough that I jerk away from his touch.

“Sorry, did I hurt you?”

“No,” I blurt out. Hating the fact that physical touch is something I grew to love, and now the idea of anyone touching me causes my skin to crawl. I want to scream and cry for no one to touch me.

“Why won’t he come in here, Izel?” Gabriel asks, glancing at the hospital door before raising his brow at me.

I can’t look at him, because I won’t cry about a man that can’t even look at me. He couldn’t even touch me when I woke up.I’m used. I’m disgusting. I’m nothing.

"I just, I can’t have him looking at me with pity,” I finally say, willing the tears to leave. I’m so tired of crying.So damn tired of feeling.

“Izel…”

“I’m disgusting! Okay, Gabriel? I don’t want him seeing that part of me. I don’t want him seeing the broken parts of me!”

Gabriel rears back like I’ve hit him. And in a way I might as well have. I’ve never lost my temper with him. I’ve never once yelled or acted like something was wrong. Even when I was beaten at the clubhouse before, Gabriel would help clean me up and I’d act like nothing happened.

I can’t do that now.

Zion made me a different person, made me depend on him, and now I feel like I’m breaking.

I don’t look at Gabriel, not when he sighs, and not when he’s stomping through the room and slamming the hospital door behind him.

Sucking in a shaky breath, I lie down until I’m on my side, relishing in the pain. I don’t want any of them to see me like this, a fucking mess. Closing my eyes, I let the tears soak into my pillow. I want to sleep and never wake up. I should have died.

They never should have saved me.

28

Zion

Peekingthroughthewindowinto Izel’s room, she lies on her side and even from here I can see her body shake as she cries. It takes everything to not crawl into that bed with her and chase the bad dreams away. I feel completely helpless as I stare at her through the small window, remembering the black and blue bruises that cover her entire body. I begin pacing in front of her door trying to calm the monster inside, but nothing is working. Every time I think I can be calm enough to go into the room and be with her.

I can’t.

She lost weight, a lot. There isn’t a pale piece of skin that’s not marked by a bruise, cut, or burn. And I hate that I could have stopped it. I could have told her no to the whole thing. I should have been prepared more. All this, all the pain she’s in, is because of me.

Near punching the wall, I storm to the stairwell, making my way outside for the millionth time. My knees buckle the moment I hit the cool air, the wall being the only thing that stops me from falling to my face.

I can’t breathe.

It’s all my fault.

"Zion?” I jerk as someone touches my shoulder. “Shit, sorry.”

Looking up, Gabriel’s red-rimmed eyes meet mine. And I’m hit with waves of anger, knowing his tears are my fault. My actions put Izel in danger, got her kidnapped, and now in the hospital.

“Are you leaving us?” he asks, sitting down on the ledge. I’m taken back at his question, unsure of what to say. “Izel thinks we need to find another place to stay, to live, because she thinks you’re going to throw her away.”

“Why? How?”