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“All forgiven.” She smiles again on my mouth.

20

Izel

“It’ssomeone'sbirthday…”

I keep my eyes closed, hoping they’ll think I’m asleep and not bother with their plan. It’s a weekend thing, and as much as I begged and cried neither of them cared. They liked when I cried my heart out. They liked when I begged them to stop hurting me. They even liked when everyone was drunk enough that the screams were drowned out.

I hate them both. I want them to die, painfully and slowly.

“We know you’re awake.” Of course, they do, that’s the problem. Even if I want to sleep, I can’t because every little sound wakes me up.The fear of them entering my room, the one place I’m supposed to be safe and protected. But I’m not. I never am.

I can hear the club sluts screaming and moaning in the hallway. Men laughing, beer bottles crashing to the ground.

“Harder, Daddy.”

“Fuck me.”

I want to gag, but I don’t want them to know I’m awake. Even if they know. If I play dead maybe, maybe they’ll take the hint.

Don’t be so stupid, Izel.

Suddenly one of them grabs my ankle, yanking me down the bed. I try to scream, to keep them off me, but Tiger’s hand clamps around my mouth. I can smell the whiskey. He’s always the drunk one, while Reaper is always sober. He knows what he is doing.

“Please,” I beg, my voice muffled around his hand. My eyes finally open. Everything is blurry, only a tiny light from under the door lightening the room.

“Aw, she’s begging us. Are you begging for our touch?” Reaper mocks, his hand dragging up my inner calf towards my thigh.

Shaking my head, I try backing away. But twelve-year-old me has no power over men three times my age. “Please stop, don’t,” I hiss, tears forming in my eyes.

“You love it.” Tiger laughs, gripping my chin before he rips my nightshirt down, exposing my small boobs.

Screaming, I thrash around. Reaper holds my legs apart, his hands reaching for the waist of my pants while Tiger grabs my nipple yanking hard.

I can’t move, I’m paralyzed, held down by grown men who take from me. Take something that doesn’t belong to them. My eyes slam shut, wishing for someone to walk in and stop them. For Dan to give a shit about me and make them stop. For Gabriel to be passed out so he won’t witness this in the next room over.

“Ah, is my girl going to get wet for me?” Reaper asks, his hands dragging my pants down to my ankle. My nipples hurt from Tiger pulling on them and my screams are muffled. Both of them laugh moments before Reaper's finger enters me.

I jerk awake, pressing my hand to my chest trying to calm my heavy beating heart. Sweat drips down my face, tears forming in my eyes. I can’t catch my breath; a strangled gasp leaves me. Opening my eyes, I can’t see anything.

No, no, no.

I cry harder, sobbing into the blanket. I can’t see, my vision is gone. I try to listen for where I could be, but the only sound is the pressure in my ears. I can’t do this. My vision is gone. They’re going to come back, and I can’t do it anymore. I can’t.

“Izel?” My name being called is a beacon. Something is going to happen. Something bad.

I squeeze my eyes shut harder, willing my vision to come back. Opening them again, all I see is total blindness. I’m never going to see again. I’ll never see my brother's pale freckled face, his goofy smile. I’ll never see Zion… Zion.

I only cry harder.

“Izel….” That voice again is closer, I can feel the dip in the mattress.

“No, no, no. Don’t touch me!” I yell, scooting back against the headboard, fumbling with the covers, trying to get my eyesight back. Just to get me away from them.

“Red.” Zion.

I turn my head towards the sound, eyes open. “Z–Zion?” I stutter, willing my hiccups to calm down.