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“Same.” I laugh, feeling like the weight of my nightmare is wearing off.

“Come on, let’s shower.” Zion’s hands grab me under my armpits, lifting me as a child. Clinging to him, since I can’t see, he walks us towards the bathroom.

“Wait, what time is it?” I ask.

“Nine,” he answers, the sound of the door clicking shut and the lock. “Here, I’m going to set you down on the counter so I can get the shower started.”

Nodding my head, he carefully places me down. Pulling my knees to my chest, I hear him move around, the steam filling the air.

“Arms up,” he says from in front of me. Awkwardly putting my arms up, Zion peels the shirt off me. I almost expect his hands to linger to touch me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he once again lifts me off the counter, placing me on my feet. Taking my hand, he walks me to the shower, and I try my best not to trip over my own feet.

“Feel the water and tell me if it’s too hot or cold.” Lifting my hand in his, we touch the water.

“It’s perfect.” I smile at where I think his face would be, but honestly can’t be too sure.

Pulling me into the shower, I trip over the step nearly falling until Zion pulls me up. “I got you.”

Setting me off to the side, the water hits my side. I try not to flinch when he begins washing and rinsing my hair. Moving to my body, he slowly washes every area, never lingering.

For the first time, I’m cared for, and I sigh in relief. The feeling of someone not taking advantage of me. His calloused hands glide over my bare skin, and I find myself smiling into the shower.

“What’s got you smiling over there, Red?” Zion asks me, his hand rubbing my shoulders.

“This is the first time someone has shown me kindness.” I almost hate admitting it, but it feels good.

“That makes me angry.”

“Why?” I ask, turning my head.

“I’m a killer, Izel. I’m not a kind person.”

“Are you mad because you’re being kind to me, or something else?” I’m confused about what's making him angry.

“It’s easy to be kind to you, you make me want to do better. You’ve been hurt your entire life and yet you show the world your heart and you’re kind. It’s hard to understand those who would want to hurt you,” he explains, his lips pressing against my shoulder blade.

“Would you ever stop killing?” I finally ask. I don’t know what causes me to ask, but the question seems important.

“I’m not sure,” he finally answers, his hands disappearing from me. I try not to panic. Not being able to see causes my other senses to heighten. I can feel him behind me, but I want his touch. I need his touch.

“Hmmm, how did you know that, uh, something was wrong?” I ask, holding my arms over my chest, feeling self-conscious.

“You were moving around a lot,” he mumbles. His hand reappears on my shoulder as he drags me into him.

“Does that mean you were watching me?” I ask, smiling into his hard warm chest.

“When you say it like that it makes me sound like a creep,” he grunts, “but, yes. I was watching you sleep.”

I should think it’s weird, that he’s a creep. But it oddly makes me feel safe and warm. I like that he watches over me even when I’m at my most vulnerable.

He is always saving me.

21

Zion

Idon’tknowwhois more nervous, Izel or me?

Gabriel is perfectly fine, hands pressed against the window watching the snowfall.