Page 44 of Puck Love
“I don’t know. My life, the fans, the paparazzi—everything.”
“What’s so bad about all of thosethings?”
“I don’t know. I just—I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t breathe.” Tears prick my eyes, and I gulp back mouthfuls of air, but it’s as if my lungs are covered in shrinkwrap.
“Shit. Take a breath, sweetheart. I can’t have you passing out on me today, too.” We’re on the highway now, but Eli pulls over into the emergency lane and brings the car to a stop. He winds down my window and unbuckles my belt, and I grab hold of the doorframe, gasping. I don’t get out, but I rest my head in my hands until the cool air calms my flushed skin and I can breathe easy again. “Jesus, Stella, I’m sorry. I didn’tknow—”
“It’s okay,” I say, after several deep breaths. “Just your standard panic attack. I have them every time I perform, but the worst of them sent me running away from a stadium full ofpeople.”
“Are you sure it’s worth itthen?”
“I’ve been asking myself that a lotlately.”
“Stella?” Emmett says. “If you quit, you have to come live with us so I can hear your music. And if you get panicked you can just take a deep breath and we’llwait.”
I smile wistfully at him.The Ross boys sure know how to steal a girl’s heart. “Thanks, Em. That makes me feel a littlebetter.”
“Em’s smarter than us all.” Eli holds his fist out for Emmett to bump. Emmett smacks it hard with a chuckle, and Eli shakes his wrist out as if that hurt. I don’t blame him; it soundedpainful.
“Damn straight,” Emcrows.
Eli turns to me. “You ready to hit the roadagain?”
“Yeah. I thinkso.”
Silence falls over the car, and for a long time I think about what Emmett said. The strange thing is, I could see it. I could see me letting it all slip away. Uprooting my entire life and hiding out at Van’s cabin for the rest of my days. Which is completely crazy. I mean, we don’t annoy one another that much, but I hardly know the man. The idea of leaving everything I worked so hard for is insane.Who does that? No. I need to go back. I’m just not ready to face the music yet, but I will be. I’ll help nurse Van back to health—assuming he doesn’t follow down the path my house plants took because I couldn’t keep a single one alive—and then I’ll go back home to Tennessee with my tail between my legs. I’ll forget all about Van Ross, and his Rocky Mountain home that has been my refuge for the last two weeks, because I am Stella Hart. Nashville’ssweetheart.
It doesn’t matter that I might break my heart in theprocess.
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