Page 123 of Puck Love

“I don’tknow.”

“You’re lying,” sheaccuses.

“I’mnot.”

Stella huffs. “I cantell.”

“No, you can’t.” It’s all I got.No, you can’t. Fuck, what am I,five?

“Van.”

I turn and face her. “I’m not that guy, Stella. I’m not the kind of guy who does serious, or the same girl more than once usually, and I hate even saying that to you, because I know I shouldn’t be such a dick. And I have been a dick. For a long time I’ve used women like they were expendable but you’re the first who makes me want to be more, who makes me seemore.”

“That’s reallysweet.”

“Yeah, that’s me. A sweetdick.”

She laughs. “Well, it’s a good thing I happen to love sweetdick.”

“Yeah, you do,” I say, at the risk of sounding like a fuckboy.

“I’ve never had anyone that’s all mine. I . . . I don’t know how we do this. I don’t know if you’re going to get traded to somewhere even farther away or if I’m ever going to have more than five minutes in my schedule to Skype with you eachday.”

I nod and turn my back on her. I make out like it’s because I need to keep making waffles, but a beat later she wraps her arms around me from behind and rests her palms on mychest.

“Without our careers, I’d have said yesalready.”

I place my hand over hers and bring it to my lips, pressing kisses over her smooth flesh. There isn’t any more to say, so I don’t. I just stand there, taking her in, loving having her body wrapped around mine because too soon, we’ll be miles apart again, wondering what the other is doing. For now, I’ll take as much of her as I can get, as much as she’ll give me in the hope that one day, she’ll give meeverything.