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“So do I.” Elia’s hands clenched at her sides.

Kamryn watched her carefully. Everything inside her told her to tell Elia what had just happened in the meeting, butshe couldn’t. She had to bite her tongue and keep it all inside, because she couldn’t talk about it. Not until she knew what was going on.

“I promise you I don’t mean to shirk my responsibilities,” Kamryn said, looking directly into those cool blue eyes. “I promise you that.”

Something crossed Elia’s gaze, changing and morphing, but Kamryn couldn’t place it with an emotion. She couldn’t figure out what it was. Elia remained where she was, her hands still clenched at her sides.

“And I promise you that if you don’t step up for these kids, if you don’t show up for them, then you’re going to wish you’d never taken this job.” Elia’s words had a bite. They stung.

It was a promise that Kamryn knew Elia would keep.

Kamryn wanted to collapse. She was tired of holding herself up, of being this strong and put together person that she didn’t feel like she was. She’d never been that person, no matter how many times she told herself she was.

“Elia…” Kamryn was on the verge of breaking.

“Don’t miss practice on Friday. We have a mock meet coming up, and I would hate for the team not to be ready because you can’t be present for them.” Elia’s stare was so cold.

Kamryn had never seen her like this. Completely closed off from everything in the room. Who had Elia Sharpe become in the intervening years? “I’ll be there.”

“Good.” Elia turned on her toes and walked out of Kamryn’s office.

Sighing heavily, Kamryn walked around to her chair and collapsed into it. She pressed her forearms into the desk and rested her forehead on the cold wood. She needed a break. A good break, one that would reset her brain and her heart, because everything was getting so confused.

Was she good at anything?

ten

Each day that passed for Elia since she had confronted Kamryn only bolstered her anger. For someone who had been so insistent on helping with the Speech team, it was ridiculous that she hadn’t shown up to the second called practice of the year.

The kids had been disappointed.

Elia had seen it in their faces when Kamryn wasn’t there. They might not have said it, but there was something special about having the Head of School on the extracurricular team. Kamryn probably didn’t even recognize that.

Walking through the main living space of her house, Elia cleaned up whatever she could find that was out of place. She needed the mundane to be cathartic, but it wasn’t working. She couldn’t get Kamryn out of her mind or the anger out of her chest.

Cursing under her breath, Elia snagged her phone off the kitchen counter where she’d left it and called Abagail. She had one more day with Abagail in the country, so it was now or never to complain to her best friend.

“You can’t miss me already.” Abagail’s sweet but confident tones filtered through the line.

Normally, Elia would feel an instant ease from that, but today was different. She was unsettled by Kamryn, in more ways than she wanted to admit. But in the ones she was willing to put out into the universe, she was annoyed that she couldn’t fix those yet.

“You’ll have to tell me all about your plans for your trip.” Elia’s words were short, and she had no doubt that Abagail could tell that she was distracted by something. That was why Elia had called her in the first place, wasn’t it?

“Oh I smell drama a mile away. What’s going on?”

Elia bit back the groan she really wanted to let loose and plopped down onto the couch. The very same place that Kamryn had slept off her drunken night of dishonor only weeks ago. Where was she supposed to even start with all that had happened?

“Kamryn is making a mess of the Speech team, and she’s only been to one meeting.” Elia’s head was pounding from the stress. She really should get up and take a pill for that, but she couldn’t bring herself to stand up again. At least not yet.

“How is she making a mess of it?” Abagail at least seemed genuinely curious about it all.

“She didn’t show up. The kids were so disappointed.” Was it the kids who were? Or was Elia the one who was disappointed? Because she’d felt that pang deep in her chest. She’d just ignored it.

“Did she say why she missed it?”

“She got stuck in a meeting.” Elia put her foot up on the edge of the coffee table and reclined back. Her house was spotless. She’d spent the last three hours deep cleaning it in an attempt to avoid this phone call. And in the end, she’d given up anyway. “But that’s a poor excuse. She has to prioritize the students.”

“You’re thinking like a teacher, not admin.”