Page 82 of Not On Your Life

Before I left, I spent two hours in front of the mirror trying to get my hair, makeup and outfit perfect. I almost put on the dress Lyndi made but changed my mind at the last minute. I’m already in uncharted territory tonight, the last thing I need is a wardrobe malfunction. So, I settled on a pair of jeans I know accentuate my assets, and a black top that’s casual enough for a family dinner but nice enough for a date.

Is this a date?

I haven’t talked to Connor since we kissed two days ago, but he told my mom he’d be here. His coming tonight means a lot of things. Good and bad. At the very least, he will take all the attention off of me, and I will thoroughly enjoy watching him squirm under my mother’s questioning. But I fear I’m in danger of far worse. My mom is already half in love with him, and if I’m not careful, I could be the next one to fall.

I park in front of the house and shut off the car, but I don’t move to get out. His truck isn’t here. I should have asked him if he wanted to carpool. I bang the steering wheel. Why didn’t I do that? It’s an hour away, of course he’d want to carpool. Why haven’t I talked to him at all? Now it’s going to be awkward in there when my mom asks where he is, and I don’t know. I could text him now, but why does that feel like something a needy girlfriend would do? I’m currently neither.

A knock on my window causes me to jump into my car ceiling.

“Mom?” I rub my head, and address the culprit.

She beams on the other side of the glass. “Where’s Connor?”

Here we go.

I step out of the car and shut the door. “I don’t know. You’re the one who invited him.”

“I thought you drive together?” She frowns and peeks in the backseat then knocks on the trunk.

“I didn’t stick him in the trunk!”

She shrugs. “Just checking. You need to be nicer to men, or they won’t like you.”

Wow. “If only you would have told me this ten years ago. I could have been married with five kids already.”

“You want five?” she asks, suddenly incredulous for the woman begging me to have babies. “I only had one. One was enough.”

“Well, that makes me feel all kinds of special.”

“You know what I mean.” She squeezes my arm as we walk into the house. “You have two babies, okay? One boy, one girl.”

Now she’s telling me how many grandchildren to give her? It almost makes me want to have five to spite her.

“I think I’ll decide that for myself.” I sigh, but like always, when I mention something I want, she doesn’t hear me as she walks straight to the kitchen.

I sit on the sofa by Dad and prop my feet on the coffee table. Then I take them down and cross them, like a lady. I try to focus on the rerun of the Suns game, but not even the tight score can hold my attention.

What if Connor shows up? What if he doesn’t? Right now, I’m not sure what I want. All I know is that I promised him a chance. I didn’t promise him any more. I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. So why is my leg bouncing in tune with the applause from the crowd on screen?

“You okay there, honey?” Dad asks, barely casting a glance my way.

“Yup. Just dandy.”

He nods and his attention returns to the game. It’s five minutes till six. We always have dinner at six. Did my mom mention that part to Connor?

I text Lyndi.

Me:I don’t think he’s coming. Phew. Dodged that bullet.

Three whole baskets are made on screen before she responds.

Lyndi:Is that really how you feel about it?

Me:We’d be a disaster together.

Lyndi:A beautiful disaster.

She’s no help. She pretty much broke my eardrums with her deafening scream when I told her Connor and I kissed. She said she knew it all along. I highly doubt that.