Page 30 of Not On Your Life

He glances back and forth between my mom and me before answering. “I’m a court bailiff.” He gulps.

Bless my mother’s heart, she doesn’t know a thing about law. Xavier can’t help me get back into the courtroom any more than she can.

Mom leans across the table toward me. “He wears a uniform.” She winks like it’s the best kept secret the courtroom has to offer. He probably is quite dashing in a uniform.

Xavier avoids my eyes and chugs the rest of his water. Poor guy had no clue what he was in for tonight.

“I will get more water.” Mom takes the cup from his hand and walks back into the kitchen. Only when she’s gone does he seem to relax.

“Um, what do you do?” he asks.

Do I tell him the whole truth, or everything but the truth? It’s not like I need the information to scare him away. He’s practically shaking like a tortured kitty already. Why not let the info fly and see what happens? Then I know what not to share the next time I’m on a real date.

“I used to be a lawyer. But now—”

“She is still lawyer,” Mom interrupts, plopping a fresh glass of water in front of Xavier. It’s a little too hard, and the liquid sloshes over the edge. Xavier scoots from the table and starts patting himself with a napkin, but mom doesn’t even notice.

“No, Mom. I’m not.” I fold my arms tightly against my chest. She would do well to move on. So would I. “I was fired, remember?”

“You didn’t strangle that man. He is fine.” My mom waves her hand in the air like my actions were nothing. “Right?”

I catch Xavier’s worried eyes from across the table. He probably thinks we are a bunch of loons. I’m inclined to agree.

“Yes of course he’s fine.” I mutter. “I’m actually coaching a high school volleyball team right now,” I say to make myself seem less like a sociopath. But the fact that I tried to strangle someone, and now I’m working with children, probably pleads the opposite. I want to smack myself.

His eyes widen slightly, but all he says is “Oh.”

“What?” Mom gasps. “But volleyball is so dangerous.”

Oops. I forgot I never told her about my new side gig. No time like the present with a stranger on site as a witness.

“I’m only coaching, Mom.”

“With all due respect, I think a courtroom is more dangerous,” Xavier interrupts. That was brave of him. “You should see some of the people I’ve had to drag out—”

Mom shoots him a glare that shuts him right up.

“But what about your…other job?” She’s physically incapable of saying the wordspersonal trainer.I think to her it means something more nefarious than it really is. Coming from the woman who found me a job as a stripper in Vegas, it’s kind of a double standard.

“I’m still doing that, too.”

“But you should be in the courtroom, fighting for our rights as country.”

Not really how it works.

I smack my lips together. “Yup. Working on it.” And loving all the reminders of how I’m failing.

“Your dad asked around, and he may find you a job out here.”

I wrinkle my nose. I love my parents, but I need at least forty-five miles of desert between us to stay sane.

“I like Phoenix,” I say.

Mom shakes her head. “But how will I meet my grandbabies?”

“It’s almost like transportation was invented for that purpose.” My pulse hammers in my head. Here comes the headache, right on cue.

“It’s so far away. They never know me.” Tears glimmer in her dark brown eyes.