Page 92 of My Big Fat Italian Break-Up

I swallowed, tears pricking. ‘It’s fine. Did you… talk to Alberto?’

‘No. I’m not interested in what he might say. He can kiss whomever he wants.’

‘Paul, I swear to you – there’s nothing between us.’

‘I know. I know you’d never cheat on Julian. I was just angry. Damn it, Erica, I really thought he was interested in me, you know? I actually thought we had a connection.’

‘You still do. He admires your work. But I don’t think he’s interested in men. Otherwise there’d be no escaping your charms, Paulie.’

I said it because I meant it. Paul was the most beautiful gay man ever, inside and out. And I could kill anyone who tried to hurt him.

He sighed. ‘Yeah, maybe you’re right. Maybe I was just jazzed by the fact that we could be a working team.’

‘Well, there is someone else whom I’ve been trying to parlay into your life, but it always seemed to fall on deaf ears.’

‘Who, Gabriele?’

‘You knew?’

‘Of course I knew. He’s been badgering me for weeks, so please don’t ask me to go back there with you again.’

‘OK, I promise.’

‘Attagirl.’

‘Paul? Come back home. I need you. More than ever now.’

‘What’s up?’

So I told him – and I told him my plan to win Julian back. I didn’t have much time left now. The clock was ticking.

‘That’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done,’ he said. ‘Are you actually up for it?’

‘Absolutely.’

‘All of it? Because it could actually backfire on you, you do know that?’

‘Yes,’ I assured.

A long silence.

‘Paul?’

‘I’m thinking, sunshine. Are the kids OK with it?’

‘Yes, but I’m honestly hoping it won’t come to that.’

‘And if it does?’

‘I’ll do everything it takes, Paul.’

‘Boy, you are one crazy chick.’

I grinned into the phone despite myself. ‘I know.’

‘OK, then. Let me just jump into my car and I’ll be there in a jiffy.’

As good as his word, he was on my doorstep. And in a couple of hours, he and the kids were huddled with me in a taxi as he bellowed orders into the cellphone stuck to his ear.