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Silvia turned to me and scolded, “Get out of here, you kitchen delinquent. No uncooked dough. I don’t want your first family gathering to include food poisoning. Quit copping a feel of the cook, or no cookies foryou.”

I held up my hands and stepped back. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Aw, Mom. Haven’t you always said cookies taste better with a little love? He was helping me add the secret ingredient,” Melena said.

She shook her head. “You keep your sex germs off those cookies. This is Great-Grandma’s recipe. Save your sex germs for something chocolate.”

Melena laughed. “Our sex germs? Pretty sure we don’t have those.”

I wanted to groan aloud. No kidding. I really wanted some though. I tried to read her expression, see if she was thinking the same thing, but she turned back to her bowl and kept lumping dough on the pan.

Zander called from the other room. “Did you get lost in there, bro-in-law? Where’s our beer?”

Melena’s mom smiled at me. “Go back to the other boys. I promise, I don’t bite, and I won’t be too hard on her. Melena is safe with me.”

I backed away and turned to the fridge, pulling out bottles. Melena’s mom was plenty feisty. I was pretty sure she was lying about not biting. I paused at the threshold and glanced back at Melena. “You alright?”

She nodded. “We’re fine. Just having a heart-to-heart.”

I raised my brows. Did that mean what I thought it meant? She nodded and I smiled. “Good, I’m glad you’re clearing things up.”

***

The rest of Melena’sfamily visit passed with a maximum of teasing and a minimum of real conflict. After Melena told her mom about her medical condition, I worried there’d be fallout, but Silvia managed the family dynamics masterfully. I caught a few long looks from her father, but nothing more.

I wasn’t sure I’d won anyone over by the time they left. Melena’s dad remained a mystery. He’d only said about twenty words to me all weekend. I half expected him to make threats about knowing where to bury a body so it wouldn’t be found. Her brothers continued to tease Melena, and by extension me, but it wasn’t mean-spirited. I was slowly finding my way with them. Nothing was sacred, but luckily, I had Andi to prepare me for blunt siblings.

As she closed the door on her family, Melena turned her back to it and melted against the wood. “We made it.”

“They seemed nice.”

“They are nice. Most of the time. I love them dearly, and it was wonderful to visit, but I also love them dearly when they’re at home and I’m here.”

“I get that.”

Alone. We were finally alone. I looked for any sign Melena was compelled to strip naked and do unspeakable things with me, but she just smiled and suggested we watch TV. We settled onto the couch, her feet in my lap, and I tortured myself with visions of her naked. Soft skin gleaming, breasts round and full, her panting my name as I made her climax. We were alone. Why wasn’t I making a move? I looked over as she laughed at something on the screen, her face relaxed. Content. I believed she was happy, but part of me was afraid to ask and find out for sure. When had I become a coward?

On screen, ships blew up and people kissed, but it was all a blur. My leg ached, and I shifted on the couch, but it was my own thoughts that left me unsettled. I kept sneaking glances at Melena when she wasn’t looking. She’d been amazing through my injury and recovery, but was that love, or duty? I couldn’t handle telling her I loved her, only to have her avoid me. Or move out. Or tell me my career was too dangerous to make a long-term commitment. Sticking with the status quo beat risking what we had. I didn’t want to go back to my life pre-Melena, but the more I felt alone with my feelings, the harder it was to be with her. I couldn’t help wishing for more.

***

Istayed vigilant forany sign from Melena as we got ready for bed. We were alone. She had the all-clear from her doctor. My cast was awkward as hell, but I could manage. Her brow wrinkled, and she stared at her hands twisted in her lap. My relaxed Melena of earlier was gone, but it didn’t look like it was sexual tension tying her in knots. My gut clenched. Had she realized my usefulness was over? Was she ready to reassert her independence? I thought we had more time. Was she ready to call it off after only a few months?

“Jimmy, why did you marry me? Was it truly to buy a house?” Melena asked as I maneuvered myself into bed.

I glanced at her propped up against the headboard, one golden shoulder peeking out from my shirt. Reason number 999 why I was glad I’d married her. She looked great in my shirt. I cleared my throat. She’d given me the perfect opening. Was she feeling the strain of our marriage-not-marriage like I was? The drive for more? Or was she searching for her exit?

My gaze connected with hers. Melena’s face was calm but sober. I cleared my throat again. Now or never. “It didn’t hurt with the house,” I acknowledged, stalling for more time. Loving her was so easy. Why was telling her so hard?

“And Iwaslonely,” I admitted. “I didn’t realize how lonely until I spent more time with you. Being with you makes me feel complete. Happy.”

Her lips tilted up at the corners, “So, you wanted a roommate? Maybe one with benefits?”

She was testing me. I’d admitted she made me complete, made me happy, and she was asking if it was for the promise of sex. Sex we weren’t having. Hadn’t had. But I hoped to have.

“While I’mexcitedabout the benefits, I look forward to benefits,” I stressed, “I’m more excited about sharing my life with you. When we first met there was a spark, and something about you made it impossible to let you struggle if I could help. Soon I realized I wanted to do more than help; it was because I cared.”

She was silent a beat. “Cared, huh. Like a puppy you rescued at the side of the road? You’ve got a big heart, Jimmy, are you sure you didn’t just want to help?” she asked. The light dimmed in her eyes, and she made a move to turn off her bedside light. I stalled her with a hand to her shoulder.