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I never stopped loving him.

“None of that matters, Yuri. I left because I had to. This place was too small for us to live side by side and not run into each other. After what happened, I wasn't sure I could ever see you the same way again.”

“Gwen, what happened was a mistake. I shouldn't have gone there that night, I never should have stepped foot in that store and I'd take it all back if I could.”

“Then why did you do it? That wasn't who you were. Tell me why? Tell me so I can understand.”

I watched his eyes dull as he went back to that night in his mind. He was looking at me, but he wasn't with me right then. His eyes looked like he was in pain, as if the memory hurt worse than actually doing it in the first place.

“I don't want to talk about this. Can we just have lunch together and enjoy this, enjoy right now?”

Taking in a slow breath, my lips thinned as I felt the anger I had been holding in bubble to the surface. “Don't I deserve an explanation? Can't I get that?”

“I tried to explain myself to you back then and you told me to get fucked. You didn't want to hear it then, why do you want to hear it now?”

“Maybe I wasn't ready then, maybe I was too young to want to know the truth. But you've affected every single day of my life for years, Yuri. I loved you, I loved you and you destroyed the future we had planned together.”

Reaching out, he laid his hand over mine. “I didn't do it on purpose to hurt you—”

Cutting him off before he could say anything else, I snapped. “But you did, you did hurt me. You broke my heart, Yuri, and nothing has been the same since.” Yanking my hand out from under his, I pushed myself to my feet. “I haven't been able to trust anyone else, because I don't know if they're being real. I haven't been able to open up to anyone and have a normal relationship, because I end up wondering what secrets they have.” Stalking in a small circle, I clutched the back of my head. “I didn't see that person in you and I'm afraid I won't see it in someone else.”

His glare hardened as he looked up at me. “I'm sorry for what I did to you and how it made you feel, but you have no idea what I went through.” Climbing to his feet, he took long steps toward me. “That night changed everything for me too. And none of it was supposed to happen that way. But I'm not going to stand here and apologize over and over for shit I can't change now. You say you loved me, but what you don't realize is that I never stopped. I still love you, even after all these years, I still love you just as much as I did that day.”

Holding my breath, I scrunched my brows, trying to figure out what the hell he was doing. He couldn't love me, because if he loved me, he wouldn't have robbed that store, jeopardizing our entire future.

If he loved me, he wouldn't have gone out with his brother to take what wasn't theirs. If he loved me, he would have done what he promised me he would do.

He didn't.

“Stop,” I said, holding up my hand. “Just stop. You don't love me, and I'm not sure you ever really did love me.”

Pressing his toes to mine, Yuri loomed over me, his mouth folded into a deep frown. “You don't think I loved you?”

Sighing, I curled my arms around my ribs and took a step back. “I don't know what I think anymore, all I know is what I feel.”

Reaching his arm out, he cupped my cheek, drawing circles across my skin. “Can you honestly tell me that you feel nothing for me?”

“Don't, Yuri, this isn't about a quick fuck because we have a history and you took me by surprise. This has to do with choices you made.”

“You made a choice last night, you chose to let me kiss you. Can you really say you felt nothing when I kissed you? When I spread your thighs open and took you as if you were still mine, did you feel nothing?” Closing the gap between us, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into his chest. “Can you look me in the eyes and tell me you felt absolutely nothing right now?”

Holding his gaze, I felt tears start to well up in my eyes. “I felt like we missed out on so much, I felt like what we had was worth more than what you gave it up for, I felt like last night was just a mistake, Yuri. That's all it was, it was a mistake, and so was this.”

“None of this was a mistake. A mistake is dialing the wrong number, a mistake is accidentally signing your name when you're suppose to print it. You're wrong about this, things happen for a reason, Gwen. ”

“I need to go.” Backing away from him, I felt his fingertips as they slipped free off my waist. Heading back for the car, I didn't look over my shoulder at him.

I didn't want to. Because I knew if I did there was a chance that this strength I felt would dwindle and I'd go running back into his arms.

We were shadows of our past, shadows that were trying to find a light that didn't exist anymore. Even if I still loved him, even if those feelings were real, we could never be together.

My life wasn't here. I lived a world away, I had responsibilities and people that relied on me. I left this place to start over, to escape the memories that ate away at me inside.

I shouldn't have come here, I shouldn't have come home.

I should have stayed where life was predictable and love didn't exist.