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He didn't see me—he didn't see me—he didn't see me.

The mantra played over and over in my head as I clutched my hands to my chest and sealed my eyes shut.

“What the hell are you doing?” my mother asked as she sat down beside me.

Opening my eyes wide, I said, “He's here, he's right over there.”

“Who's here?”

“Yuri, Yuri is here.”

“Where, Gwen? I don't see him.”

Sticking my head up, he was gone. “He was right there, I saw him.”

“Honey, I think you just imagined it. I talk to his mother from time to time, and he hasn't been home almost as long as you. I highly doubt that it'd be that coincidental you'd both show up at the same time. Seriously, what are the odds in that?”

“I know what I saw.” Pushing myself all the way up, I shook my head. “I didn't imagine it.”

“Maybe you just saw what you expected to see. You expect to see him here, your eyes probably played a trick on you.”

“No, he was there, I swear it was him.” Glancing back at the store, I tried like hell to see inside the front window. But the glare was too much, making it impossible to see inside. “It was him.”

Reaching out, my mother took my hand. “Honey, I know deep down that you think you're over everything, you've said it before. Obviously, you're not, and that's okay. He was your first love, that never goes away.” Giving my hand a squeeze, she brushed some loose strands of hair out my face. “But you can't do this to yourself, you have to stop thinking about him. You have to stop worrying about whether or not you'll see him here, because I'm sorry, your father and I aren't moving. And we would really love it if you came home more.”

“I know, but I told you, work—”

“Gwen, I know you,” she cut in, giving me that motherly stare. “And I know why you haven't come home all these years. But you can't live your life in fear of something that may or may not happen. Even if you did see him, so what? What does it change?” Not giving me time to answer, she barked. “Nothing, it changes nothing. You have your life, you're living your life, but you're not really living if you're constantly paranoid you might see him. You know your father and I aren't going to be around forever, stop letting his ghost dictate what you do.”

Sitting silent, I didn't have anything to use against what she was saying. She was right.

I avoided this place like the plague. But I had a good reason. . .

Didn't I?

I wanted to believe that I was right, that I could validate the choices I made; moving to the other side of the country, not coming home because he had roots here to too.

But when I really thought about it, I don't think my biggest problem was Yuri.

It was me never forgiving him for the choice he made all those years ago. I held that vision of him in my mind like an evil trophy. I let it consume me, I allowed it to turn my stomach with the thought I might see him again.

And that fear dug its nails into my skin so deep it hit the bone.

My mother was right. I had to stop living my life like I was going to see him at every corner if I came home.

Maybe it wasn't even him to begin with?

It was hard for me to admit being wrong, but this time, I couldn't ignore it.

“You're right,” I said, bouncing my eyes between my mother's. “My mind is probably playing tricks on me. I'm done with him, I've been done with him for years, I have to stop doing this to myself.”

Leaning over, my mother wrapped her arm around my neck and pulled me in. Kissing my forehead, she whispered. “I never thought I'd hear you say that.”

“What? That I'm done with him?”

“No.” Grinning, she put the key in the ignition and started the car. “That I'm right.” Driving away from the store, she kept her eyes on the road. “I really wish I had recorded that on my phone.”

Laughing, I felt my body relax. I was ready to free myself of all the burdens I carried around that man.

This was my life, and he had no place in it anymore.