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"May went up to her room, probably to start on her homework. She's a diligent student. Laura taught her that."

"She took me to the dock and Cary yelled at her," I said.

Aunt Sara nodded. "He won't permit anyone else to take her near the water. He's afraid." She took a deep breath and held her right palm against her heart. "We're all just a little more afraid," she muttered.

I gathered the dishes and brought them to the dining room. I felt I was sleepwalking. Was this really happening? Had Mommy truly gone and left me here?

When I returned to the kitchen to get the silverware and folded napkins, Aunt Sara was checking the chicken. Something simmered on the stove. Potatoes baked while pies cooled on the windowsill. The hustle and bustle in Aunt Sara's kitchen gave me a warm feeling. Everything smelled wonderful. I had been too nervous this morning to eat much of a breakfast, and except for the few clams I had nibbled when we first arrived, I had eaten very little all day.

"Laura loved to cook with me," Aunt Sara said as she worked. "While other girls her age were off giggling over boys, she was home, helping. She was always like that, even as a little girl. You never saw a more selfless person, worrying about everyone else before she worried about herself.

"You know what Jacob says?" She turned to me. "He says the angels must have been so jealous of her, God granted them their wish and took her to heaven sooner than planned."

She smiled, her face softened, her chin quivering. Tears glittered in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm sorry I never got to meet her."

"Oh, yes. Wouldn't that have been wonderful?" She thought a moment and then sternly added, "You should have met."

I wanted to ask her why we hadn't, why this family had been so bitter and mean to each other, but I thought it might be the wrong time to bring up such questions.

She took a deep breath. "You better put out the silverware, dear."

After the table was set, Aunt Sara said she'd take me to my room. "Your things are already there. I want to show you where to put them away and all that you can use, too."

"Use?" I wondered what she meant as I followed her up the short stairway leading to the second floor. The steps creaked and the railing shook as we ascended. At the top was a small landing.

"May's room and Cary's room are down that way," she said pointing right. Without windows, the hallway was dark. "Jacob's and my room is the last room on the left and your room, which was Laura's room, is right there." She pointed to the first door on the left. "That's the bathroom, of course," she added, curtly nodding at the doorway across from what was to be my room.

"Here you are." She stood back after opening the door. I gazed in slowly, shocked at what I found. The room was cluttered with things that had once belonged to my dead cousin. It looked as if she had just died yesterday. The walls were covered with her posters of rock and movie stars, the shelves crowded with stuffed animals and ceramic dolls. There was a collection of ceramic and pewter cats on one shelf. Below the shelve

s was a small table with a miniature tea set and a big doll in a chair.

It was a very pretty, cozy room, with pink wallpaper spotted white. There was a canopy bed, just like the bed Alice Morgan had, only the headboard didn't have a heart design. The bedding, comforter, and pillows all matched the mauve shade of the canopy, and at the center of the two fluffy pillows was a large, stuffed cat that looked almost real and very much like the one I had brought.

There was a vanity table with a large mirror and a matching dresser. In one corner was a desk and chair. An open notebook lay on the desk and beside it was a pile of school textbooks and what looked like library books.

Why weren't they ever returned? I wondered.

The sliding doors on the closet were open, so I could see the garments hanging inside. On a hook next to the closet doorjamb was a pink terrycloth robe. The slippers were at the foot of the bed.

Two open windows, one on each side of the bed, faced the ocean. The breeze made the curtains flutter and wave. The scent of the sea air overpowered the vague, sweet perfume I smelled when first looking into the room.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Aunt Sara said.

"Yes."

"I want you to be comfortable here," she said. "Use anything you want and need. It would be a great joy to me to see you wearing one of those pretty dresses. Try one on," she said anxiously. "They look just your size."

I shook my head gently.

"I don't know if I should, Aunt Sara." Despite its recently lived-in appearance, the room felt more like a shrine to a dead girl.

"Of course you should," she said, her eyes full of panic because I had suggested otherwise. "That's why I wanted you to stay here. There's so much going to waste and now it won't. If Laura were standing right here beside us, she would say, 'Cousin Melody, use anything you want. Go on.' I can almost hear her saying that." She tilted her head as if to catch someone's voice in the breeze. "Can't you?" She wore a strange, soft smile.

I walked into the room and looked more closely at everything. On the desk was a pile of letters wrapped in a rubber band. The brushes and combs on the vanity table still had strands of dark brown hair twirled through them. On the top of the dresser was a framed picture of my cousin Laura standing at the front of the house holding a bouquet of yellow roses.

"That was her sweet sixteen picture," Aunt Sara explained. "Taken almost a year ago now. Laura and Cary's birthday is next month, you know."