Page 87

“But I won’t abandon her,” I say aloud. “I promise, Mother and Father. I won’t ever leave her.”

Even if she gets me recaptured.

At dinner, I find Petrik and Kellyn sitting together, talking like they used to on the road.

“You’ve become all-important now,” Kellyn says. “Look at you, advising princes and setting up meetings.”

“I can’t exactly go back to the library with all that’s happening,” Petrik says. “Besides, look atyou! Rushing into danger when there’s no money to be earned. Be careful or everyone will think you’ve grown a heart.”

I set down my tray of creamy tomato soup and sourdough bread and sit across from the two of them.

“What’s wrong?” Kellyn asks.

“Temra.”

“What about her?” Petrik asks.

“She’s joined Skiro’s personal guard, and she’s determined to stay for Ravis’s arrival. She’s going to get herself killed!”

“She joined the guard?” Petrik says, becoming just as grumpy as I am. He looks over my shoulder, glaring at something behind me. I turn to see Temra take a seat among a bunch of men and women dressed as guards. Her new friends, likely. She was always so good at having people flock to her.

“How do I convince her to leave?” I ask.

“Wait, leave?” Kellyn asks. “Why would you leave?”

“So Ravis doesn’t capture me again!” Does nobody remember what happened the last time? “Weapons I made are heading toward us right now!”

“Ravis didn’t want to recapture you in the end,” Kellyn says. “He wanted you dead. Not that that’s better.”

“He can change his mind! I’m too dangerous to stick around. Isn’t it better if I go?”

“No!” both boys shout simultaneously.

“I don’t believe you, but it doesn’t matter,” I say with a sigh. “I would never leave Temra behind.”

Kellyn looks relieved. “Good. We can’t abandon these people.”

And yet I feel like I’m the one that’s putting them in more danger. Both boys are staring at me, as though trying to read my thoughts.

Though too much time has passed since Kellyn’s comment, I ask in jest, “Since when do you care about other people?” Anything to get the attention off me.

Kellyn doesn’t miss a beat. “Why does everyone talk about me as though I’m some monster?”

“You’re not a monster. You’re just often self-serving,” Petrik says.

“I am self-serving right now! If we don’t stop Ravis here, he’ll be unchecked as he ravages through Ghadra, which is whereIhappen to live.”

“Ziva,” Petrik says, as though an idea has just come to him, “do you think you could—”

Any traces of humor leave me as I cut him off. “If you ask me to make weapons, I will hit you again.”

Petrik slams his mouth shut.

“I’m not going to be anyone’s pawn ever again. I’m not making weapons for anyone ever again. I won’t be trapped or forced against my will.”

The table goes quiet, and any nearby folks wisely scoot away.

“No one is forcing you to make anything,” Kellyn says. “I won’t let them.”