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But as I stare at them and think about Kellyn coming in for the night, I carefully pop a dried leaf into my mouth.

The taste is bitter, meant to be diluted with tea. But I’m not about to brew something.

I swallow quickly.

And then my face feels inflamed.

Which is utterly ridiculous. It’s not like anyone knows what I’ve just swallowed. It’s not as if I have any reason at all to be embarrassed.

And yet, when Kellyn knocks on the door, the burning in my cheeks only intensifies.

“Are you all right?” he asks when he sees me. “Should I open a window?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Leftover anxiety from the meeting?” he guesses.

“Sure.”

“Sure?”

The most awkward and unwelcome of giggles drifts up my throat, and I feel like a lunatic.

Just because I took the thing, it doesn’t mean we have to do anything. It was just a precaution.

Because you were hoping, my internal voice says.

Shh, I tell it.

“You make me like this,” I say when I get the ridiculous laughing under control. “You make me crazy. You make me awkward. You make me laugh.”

Kellyn’s face softens. He closes the distance between us, lets one finger trace from the back of my hand, up my arm. The trail sends flickers of heat through my skin.

“You make me happy,” Kellyn says. “You make me scared. Now that I have you, I’m so very afraid to lose you.”

“I know what you mean,” I whisper. The fingers of my right hand reach up to play lightly with the laces at his throat. It helps so very much to have something to do with my hands.

“You also make me believe that there’s hope for the world,” he says.

“The world?” I question.

“So many terrible things have happened to you, and yet you haven’t lost yourself. You’re still kind. Still strong. Still determined. The world is a better place for having you in it. My heart is better for having you in it.”

The words are unbelievably dramatic, but I love them. My ears ring with them, happy and full andright.

Now is the time.

“I don’t want you to ever go away,” I whisper as I stand on my toes. It’s not an admission of love, but the best I can manage at the moment.

“I won’t,” he says.

And he lowers his lips the rest of the way.

I will never cease to be amazed by how breathless andwonderful kissing him feels. It doesn’t matter how many times I do it, he’s never any less potent.

The feel of his fingers in my hair.

The smell of his skin.