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“Me,” I finish.

I try not to stare at Ravis’s body as we leave our hiding spot. But I see it and Strax’s, and I can’t help but think again—no one had to die. Why couldn’t he just be content with what he had?

Was that my problem as well? Not being content with what I had. Should I have just been happy with the money I earned, lived contentedly in my mother and father’s house forever? Maybe I got greedy. Maybe I never should have taken on more and more commissions. Never should have let word of me and my abilities spread. I should have lived as a regular smithy. Never making anything magical for anyone. Temra and I would have lived simply, but we would havelived.

I miss the days when I was living.

Now I seem to only besurviving.

We take the halls with purpose, like we know what we’re doing and know where we’re going. Ravis’s—no, Kymora’s— men are everywhere. We pause to hide behind things where we’re able, and fake that we belong when we’re not.

No one stops us. Everyone is looking for a smithy, not a soldier. And I certainly look like the latter with the blood coating every part of me.

When we make it to the room of portals, we find it unlocked. Kellyn opens the door, ushers me inside ahead of him.

I lose any sense of sanity I had left when I see what remains.

Destruction.

The portals have been destroyed, rendered useless before Kymora or any one of our enemies could use them.

But everyone seems to have made it through. Except Kellyn and me.

Again.

We’ll never make it out of this castle.

I lose my balance. Lose my feet. Lose my connection to the here and now.

I’m spinning out of control. I can’t breathe. My body feels itchy, hot, and I want nothing more than to claw out of my own skin.

I’m trapped. Forever. I will never be happy. Nothing will ever be okay.

“Ziva…”

Kellyn’s voice sounds so far away, and I don’t feel him even as he grips me. I’m going to lose him. I’m going to lose Temra. I’ve lost everything, and it’s still all my fault.

And then the room spins.

No, just shifts, and Kellyn places me in front of one of the portraits.

Marossa’s.

And my eyes finally focus enough to note one very important thing.

It’s still intact.

Every portal is destroyed except one. The one I had to turn my neck to see.

I grab Kellyn’s hand, and together we step through.

I brace myself for impact. Last time I did this, I struck against a wall. But this time? Nothing. The air is still stale and dust clouds in front of my nose, but I’ll take it. Lights flicker around us, and I think we’re in some sort of hallway.

“Thank the Twins!” a voice I know all too well says.

Temra uses the sharp edge of her sword to scratch along the portal behind us, scraping off the paint. Then, for good measure, she grabs a bucket and throws water onto the portrait. Paint runs down in rivulets, before pooling onto the floor in a brown mess.

Her task done, my sister embraces me. “I’m so relieved you made it! I was getting ready to go look for you if you didn’t show in the next minute.”