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Gabriela doesn’t need telling twice. She bounds across the room on blinged-up Converse, calling out an overly enthusiastic: ‘Thank YOU FRANKFURT! WOOOOO!’ as she climbs the stage steps. When Margot hands Gabriela the mic, she launches into a long acceptance speech, during which she does indeed thank a lot of cats, both living and dead.

Eventually, Margo wrestles the mic back and the award ceremony continues.

CHAPTER62

The award ceremony lumbers on with lots of clapping and not enough wine. Somewhere during the proceedings, plated, flavourless, boiled meat and vegetables are served, followed by a dessert that looks like a piece of loft insulation.

I am delighted with our tenth diversity award win, but I am growing more physically uncomfortable with every moment that passes, and I want my hot water bottles. The heat of them on my various aches and pains would be heaven right now.

More awards are announced.

Bookshop of the Year

Children’s Publisher of the Year

Illustrator of the Year.

Finally, theSmall Press of the Yearnominees are announced, including Little Voice and five other small publishers.

I would sit on the edge of my wheelchair seat if I weren’t at risk of falling off. Instead, I sit on my hands to stop them shaking.

After a long pause, literary murderess, Margot Fick, opens a golden award envelope.

‘So now I will announce the European Small Press of the Year winner …’

Little Voice, Little Voice, Little Voice …

Around the white-clothed table, the team mutter similar prayers. Duncan has his eyes tight shut, and Alan has four sets of bony fingers crossed, which looks painful. Gabriela is praying by downing a red wine and Coca-Cola at speed.

‘The winner is …’ Margot smiles at the audience. ‘Koch and Meyer!’

Oh. No.

My heart sinks.

We didn’t win.

The table sags with disappointment, but we manage dutiful claps.

‘Oh well.’ I pull on a painful smile. ‘Someone else’s measure of us, right guys?’

‘We’re already winners.’ Gabriela gives me sad eyes.

‘There’s always next year,’ Duncan reasons.

‘Hey.’ Freddy slaps the table with manly hands. ‘You did great. European Diverse Publisher of the Year ten times running? That deserves a toast, doesn’t it?’

‘Yes.’ I grab my water glass. ‘So what if the industry hasn’t noticed us yet? As Duncan says, there’s always next year. Let’s celebrate. We don’t need an award to tell us how great we’re doing.’

‘Exactly,’ says Gabriela. ‘We’ve found so many more readers this year. That’s the important thing.’

‘And we have clean offices,’ says Alan.

‘And Mac computers,’ Duncan adds.

‘And a huge profit increase,’ says Freddy.

‘And the winner is …’