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Suddenly, it’s 2 am.

‘That can’t be the time.’ Kat looks panicked. ‘I need to sleep. I spent all day out of the office. I should be at work tomorrow.’

Freddy dispels this illusion for her. ‘No, tomorrow you’ll be resting. I’ll take care of everything.’

‘You don’t need to. Honestly. I’m sure this is a pseudo-relapse. I’ll be better tomorrow, and if I’m not I’ll get some steroid shots –’

‘I’ll take care of everything.’ Freddy’s voice is warm, but firm. He stands and offers out his arms. ‘Climb aboard.’

‘You don’t need to carry me,’ says Kat. ‘I can crawl.’

‘Do you realise how stupid that sounds?’

‘Yes.’

‘Good.’ Freddy lifts Kat with his two steel rods of arms and carries her out of the room. When they reach the staircase, Kat puts her arms around Freddy’s neck.

‘You’re probably wondering why I don’t have a stairlift,’ says Kat, as Freddy lumbers up the stairs trying not to bump her body too much.

‘I’m not. But I have a feeling you want to tell me.’

‘It would make me feel like too much of an old lady,’ says Kat. ‘I’ll get a stairlift one day. But until then, I’m happy to crawl.’

‘I guess … when you get married, you won’t have to crawl. As long as your husband is a regular gym goer.’

‘I suppose that’s true. My bedroom is that one.’

Freddy shoulders the door open and lays Kat carefully on her neatly made bed. Then he brings up water and painkillers. As he leaves her bedroom for the second time, Freddy has an overwhelming urge to ask Kat if they can talk a little more. But Kat needs sleep, so he resists. Instead, he finds the guest bedroom. It’s full of books, just like the rest of the house.

Freddy reads a little ofBeating Multiple Sclerosis – Stories for Thriving and Healing. Then he reads the first chapter ofAnimal Farmand remembers why he loves it. The publisher took a huge risk on that book because it wasn’t a good commercial prospect. They didn’t publishAnimal Farmexpecting a profit. They did it to shine a light on society. And if they hadn’t done that selfless act, the world would be without a great work of literature.

When Freddy finally putsAnimal Farmdown at 4 am, he thinks about courage.

Kat is brave in so many different ways. She shouldn’t have to crawl up staircases on her own.

CHAPTER45

The next morning, I find Freddy in my kitchen attempting to make a smoothie in a food processor. He’s wearing my old, black dressing gown, which is way too short to the point of being obscene.

I stare at him. Then I swear. A lot.

‘Oh, shit, shit, shit.’

‘What?’ Freddy turns to me.

‘You stayed over. Everyone is going to think you and I … you know. And I’m trying to find a husband.’

‘It was a medical emergency. Everyone will understand. And I very much doubt it will come up in conversation. How are you feeling?’

‘Surprisingly good.’ I grab a stool at the breakfast bar. ‘Sort of … normal. I can’t believe my luck. Usually, when I have to crawl over my doorstep, I’m out for at least a couple of days. You must be good medicine.’ I hesitate. ‘Okay. Right. I need to arrange dates with Ahmet and Marcus. Time to get this marriage train on the road.’

Freddy turns to me, hesitates, then nods with enthusiasm. ‘Yes, exactly. Time to get you married. Think of all the things you’ll do with a great partner in your corner.’

‘And Ahmet and Marcus both gave good feedback about me at Ascot, right?’

Freddy nods again, focusing intently on the food processor. ‘Do you have any protein powder?’

‘Of course I don’t,’ I say. ‘I don’t enjoy constipation any more than the next person.’