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Squeezing my eyes shut, I want to scream at him, but I keep my voice even. “Just because you suddenly decided you care, doesn’t mean shit. I’m not going to apologize for being with him. You are the one who decided you wanted a divorce.”

Staring at me with a tight jaw, his chest rises and falls, matching my own. “You keep saying that like you didn’t want it too.”

There’s a pang of guilt that hits me because he has a point. I wanted it too.

I did.

I hadn’t been happy for years. I didn’t know it until I found him cheating.

All the guilt, the tension, regrets, lack of words, it was all coming to a head in Carol’s office.

Austin blows smoke up people’s ass for a living. That’s what attorney’s do. Let’s pause for a moment though. Do you know where the term “blowing smoke up your ass” actually came from?

I’ll tell you, because I’ve researched it and there are just some things you can’t forget, this being one of them. In the 1700s, smoke enemas were a popular medical procedure for resuscitating people who’d drowned. You’re curious how this works, aren’t you?

Me too. So the way I read it, the doctors inserted a rectal tube connected to a fumigator into the booty hole and forced smoke up the rectum.

Why did they do this?

Well, they thought the warmth of the smoke promoted respiration. And that my friends, is where the term blowing smoke up one’s ass came from.

You’re welcome.

Now, you’re probably thinking, while that fun fact was interesting. . . what the fuck does it have to do with Austin?

The distance between Austin and I was unmistakable. . . for years.

It started slow, at first.

No kisses before bed.

Then no kisses before work.

No “have a good day.”

And then it ended, and now he blames it entirely on me. I’m not to blame for all this. We both are.

I shake my head, standing. “Austin, regardless of our problems, or who we’re involved with now, we need to look out for what matters. The children. The only people we’re hurting by not getting along. I don’t care to make this work with you. I care to make it work with them.”

This grabs his attention. He’s nothing but harsh breaths and silent words for a moment. And then he stands, and walks out, because that’s what Austin does.