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“Penis fish.”

“Ridge. . . .”

“Okay, sorry. I had to say it.” When has she ever known me to be serious at first? Truth is, I’m terrified. So I tell her. “I’m scared. I’m scared of not being enough for you.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because after what you’ve been through, you’re strong and independent. You don’t need a man in your life to be okay. That makes me have to be so much more to keep you.” The corners of my mouth twitch into a half smile. “Thatscares me.”

“You’re enough. You want to know why?”

“A dad isn’t defined as a man who makes the child. He’s the man who raises and loves the child with all his heart, even when it’s hard.Blood doesn’t always make a man a dad.” Like how she says that line clearer than any other? Me too. But she continues with, “Being a dad comes from being present and giving your heart.”

I gave my heart. I gave it all to her, the boys, and now Renly. “I think I fell in love with you,again.”

I once said I had regrets. No, actually, I said I they were mistakes, didn’t I?

The thing I realized is that for things to go right, sometimes they have to go wrong before you understand the difference. I know the difference.