Page 17

I was so tired, I barely had the strength to get undressed and into my nightgown. While I was brushing my teeth, I heard footsteps in the hallway and imagined it was Mary Margaret. I could still hear my great-aunt playing the piano. I returned to my room and closed the door. However, as soon as I lay down and closed my eyes, I thought about Boggs shattering my sleep with his broomstick and panicked. I had no alarm clock. I would surely oversleep. have to ask Mary Margaret to wake me when she gets up, I thought. I slipped into my robe and peered down the corridor. Where did Mary Margaret sleep?

Great-aunt Leonora was still playing the piano. The hallway light was dim and the shadows deep and long. I walked past the bathroom, deeper into the servants' quarters. The music followed behind me. Just as I reached the first doorway, Boggs

materialized in the dark portal. He was in an undershirt and his pants.

"Where are you going?" he demanded.

"I was looking for Mary Margaret. I wanted to ask her to wake me because I have no clock in my room," I explained quickly. In the gloomy dimness his eyes were slick as oil. He frightened me with his stone face and unsympathetic voice.

"Don't worry about it. I'll rap on your door," he said.

"I'd rather have Mary Margaret do it," I said. "Where is she?" I looked toward the end of the corridor. I couldn't see any other rooms.

"She doesn't sleep 'ere," he said. "She lives with 'er mother. I'll wake you. Have no fear of that," he said. His face was all in shadows.

"What about Leo?" I asked. Anyone but you, I thought. " 'e lives above the garage. I thought you was tired from your trip," he added.

"I am."

"Then go to sleep," he ordered. He stepped back and closed the door.

I stood there for a moment in the narrow corridor. It was just Boggs and me here? I shared the bathroom with him? It gave me a sick feeling in the base of my stomach to think he was so close. I returned to my room and closed my door. Tomorrow, I'll buy a clock, I thought, and then I'll ask Great-aunt Leonora to have a lock put on my bedroom door.

I crawled under the blanket and rested my head on the hard pillow. The night air helped diminish the strong smell of mothballs, but it was still there along with a rancid odor that reminded me of some apartments back in the projects in Washington, D.C. The piano music stopped and was soon replaced with the creaks and groans throughout the big house.

I didn't fall asleep so much as I passed out. It was as if I was still traveling, being swept along by planes and cars until I was spiraling downward through my jumbled thoughts, falling into a well of memories that ran into each other, confusing faces and voices. Mama was reaching down, trying to take hold of me and stop my descent, but she was always just a few inches too far away. There was Roy calling after me, my name echoing around me. I passed Beni who just smiled and did a little dance before evaporating. Grandmother Hudson flashed on the wall of my dream for a moment, her eyes full of worry. I was losing sight of everyone I loved, hurtling deeper and deeper toward the light until I burst out into the center of a blazing fire and woke to the soft sound of my door closing.

My heart was pounding. I sat up. It was hard to see in the darkness. I was frightened by a silhouette but quickly realized that it was just the wardrobe. No one was in my room, but had someone been here? I listened hard for sounds from the corridor and heard none. Then I let my head drop to the pillow.

I'm so tired, I thought.

I'm so tired.

Even too tired to care about ghosts.

3

The New Girl, Again.

.

Boggs rapped so hard on my door the next

morning, I thought it would splinter. There's a man who would enjoy pulling wings off flies, I thought. "Are ya awake?" he growled from the hallway.

"Yes, yes!" I screamed back. Mama would say he could turn a graveyard into a crowd of Lazaruses.

"Get to the kitchen," he commanded and walked away.

"Yes sir," I called back and saluted. Then I groaned. It wasn't only jet lag now. I must have been doing flips in my sleep, I thought. It seemed like every muscle in my body ached and the blanket was twisted around my legs. Outside my little window, I could see it was gray and overcast and the air was much cooler than I had expected. It brought another delightful realization. There was nothing to provide any heat for this room, not a radiator, not even an electric heater. That fact was brought home dramatically when I put my bare feet on the wooden floor. It felt as if I had stepped into an icy cold puddle. I scurried to locate my slippers and get into something warmer than my nightgown. I would have appreciated the time to take a shower, but there wasn't any shower or any time. I'd have to take a bath but looking at my watch, I saw I had only fifteen minutes to get myself to the kitchen to help prepare and serve breakfast.

After putting on my panties and bra, I checked the hallway, saw it was clear, and, carrying my clothes in my arms, hurried to the bathroom where I would

at least wash myself. Why wasn't I surprised to discover we had no hot water? The faucet ran and ran and the water didn't warm at all. I had no choice but to scrub up quickly, shivering as I put on my blouse and skirt. The only benefit to having to pin up my hair was I didn't have to spend any time on it, but boy did it need to be washed, I thought.

The house was very quiet. I heard a pan clank in the kitchen and entered to see Mary Margaret filling a teapot with hot water. She glanced at me, but didn't take her eyes from her work as if brewing a cup of tea for my great-uncle was similar to heart surgery. She started out of the kitchen, yet to say good morning to me.

"Don't forget, milk in first," I muttered. She glanced at me with astonishment, saw the smile on my face, and widened her eyes. Didn't anyone ever joke here?