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"He said he wanted you to know he had told Leanna everything and he wanted you to call him the first chance you had."

"Oh," I said, wondering what kind of reaction his wife had to such a revelation. Maybe he wanted me to stay away from them now.

"You said I had two messages?"

"Yes, the second was from someone named Roy."

"Roy! Oh, that's my ... my friend. What did he say?"

"He said he'd be in London tomorrow and would come by about four in the afternoon. That's all he said," Leo added.

"That's okay. That's fine. That's plenty," I told him and hurried away. Those words had spread a magic shawl of comfort about my shoulders at just the right moment.

I couldn't wait to see him and throw my arms around him and tell him everything.

Almost everything.

There were things I needed to keep locked up in the vault of my own heart.

Much later, after I had fallen asleep, I woke to the sound of Boggs's heavy footsteps in the hallway. He had returned. His work kept him away from his family at night, I realized. Rarely would he be there to have breakfast with his wife. Rarely would he be there to hold her at night.

What a strange life, I thought, full of so many terrible sacrifices. What did he hope would be the end? Where did he see himself years and years from now?

I thought" About the many, many nights Mama slept alone and not because Ken had to be away, but because he was either in a lockup somewhere or sleeping off a drunk someplace.

I made one vow to myself before I fell asleep again.

I won't fall asleep alone after I'm married. I'd wait for the man who would tell me that without me beside him, without his being able to hold me in his arms, he wouldn't sleep. That was really love.

Or was it just another fantasy?

Another part to play?

"Raise the curtain, sunlight," I whispered.

"Bring on the day and the answers."

14

Bring on the Day

.

Anticipating Roy's arrival made me nervous

and fidgety all day and I was expecting trouble from Boggs because of my visiting with Mary Margaret. However, just like Great-uncle Richard, Boggs barely glanced at me or did anything to suggest what had passed between us. This was a house of snails and turtles, I decided. Everyone living and working here creeps into his or her shell; avoid, ignore and pretend were the words that made up their credo. I laughed to myself thinking about the family crest the Endfields treated with such importance. Those words should be printed on it, I thought, and it should be hung over the front door.

When I arrived at school, I went to Mr. MacWaine's office and signed up for the auditions on Saturday. I took the cut sheets for Katherina, too

. Randall was lingering outside the doorway of my speech class waiting to speak to me.

"Did you sign up for the auditions?" was his first question. I held up the cut sheets as a reply. "Good, good. I was wondering if we could spend some time together this afternoon. We could go to the river and maybe even practice your lines."

"I can't today, Randall," I said. "I have a visitor."

"Oh?" He looked very disappointed.

"It's Roy," I told him. His face brightened a bit.