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Yeah, I do know. That’s why I haven’t dated since Jaxon. I don’t want different. I want this. “What happened? I saw her talking to you tonight.”
He sighs, and the pause feels too long. “Well.” His brow furrows; he seems relieved, probably because he has my phone. “Doesn’t feel right.”
“Talking to her?” Anxiety rushes in. I don’t know what to think.
“Yeah,” he mumbles. “I don’t think I want to anymore.”
“Oh.” Okay, don’t freak out. Stay chill.
He draws a breath. “What about you?” He runs a hand over his face, shifts his weight, and sighs like he doesn’t want to hear my answer. “Thinking about dating?”
Oh. Huh. Didn’t see that coming. I laugh to cover nerves. “You literally took my phone when another guy texted me.”
He tips his head, smirks. “Don’t regret it.”
He stops walking. Suddenly, we’re back at the school.
I let out a shaky chuckle. The awkwardness fades. We keep walking toward the baseball stadium and athletic center. “What would you do if I did date someone?”
Jaxon says nothing. Even his face is locked down. No idea what he’s thinking.
“I think you know this by now, but—” He stops us, hand on my stomach, backs me against the fence outside the baseball field. He swallows, breathes deep, leaning into me. “No matter how hard I try, I can’t resist you.”
Listen, I don’t know you, you don’t know me—other than what I’ve told you about my current situation. So, let me ask: Should I give in again, even though tomorrow he might not text and nothing will change?
Ah, fuck it. It’s just sex, right?
Right.
“I can’t stop thinking about you.” Jaxon dips his head and kisses me. At first, it’s just a kiss. Then his lips part, tongue finding mine. It’s not forceful—slow, sensual, everything I want and need from him.
With my back to the fence, chests pressed together, I can feel his heart, and it’s beating in time with mine.
“I missed you,” he pants against my lips, tongue sweeping mine again.
“Me too,” I breathe, pulling back to read his face.
The words “what are we doing?” are right there, but I bite them back.
He looks at me like he gets it. He knows we’re complicated and doesn’t have answers either. He kisses my forehead, his words ragged at my cheek. “I can’t stay away from you.”
I smile, because I feel the same. “Why’s that?”
“I don’t know.” His grip tightens. My body aches, desperate. “When I’m away, you’re all I can think about.”
I want to believe him, but there’s a part of me holding back.
Jaxon steps back, hands tight on my hips. “Wanna relive homecoming senior year?”
I know exactly what he means. We had sex on the baseball field in the rain. Best season he ever had. We always joked that was why.
Adrenaline hits, and I nod before I can stop myself.
Jaxon hops up with the grace of someone who’s done this a thousand times. Meanwhile, I’m standing there like, Are we really doing this? Is this a thing normal people do?
“Come on,” he calls, already perched on the top rail like a damn mountain goat.
I start to climb and this is where the doubts creep in. I don’t like trouble. I’ve never been grounded, never had run-ins with police or campus security. I’m not a rule breaker!