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Inez
When do you get back?
Maybe coffee?
Fuck. The last thing I need. Inez was a mistake—thought maybe something different would help, but it only made me want Camdyn more. Now she won’t leave me alone. Maybe Inez is why Camdyn went out with Nathan. Maybe that’s why she’s moving on. Because she thought I had?
I don’t reply to Inez.
Instead, I stare at my last exchange with Camdyn. An hour passes and I think she’s not going to say anything else, or maybe she fell asleep, when my phone buzzes again.
Inez
hello??
“Fuck!” I hurl my phone. It hits the seat across the aisle, then bounces under the row in front where Ollie is drooling on his sweatshirt. I don’t even care if I cracked the screen.
“Shut the fuck up,” someone mumbles from the back.
Great. Now I have to army crawl through this moving bus to get my phone. The floor is sticky with spilled Gatorade and God knows what else. Empty chip bags and crushed Red Bull cans litter the aisle like the aftermath of a frat party. I drop to my hands and knees, ignoring how my broken nose screams at the movement.
“The hell you doing?” Jameson whispers from his seat.
“Getting my phone,” I grunt, reaching under Kingston’s seat. My hand touches something wet. “Fuck.”
“You’re a disaster,” Jameson says, but he holds up his phone’s flashlight anyway, giving me enough light to see my phone wedged against someone’s cleats.
The bus hits a bump just as I’m stretched out in the aisle. My face slams into the floor, sending fresh pain through my nose. I roll over and hold my face. “Son of a bitch!”
“I said shut up!” Same voice from the back.
“Fuck off, Nash!” I whisper-shout, finally grabbing my phone. Getting back to my seat is like Twister in the dark. I bang my head, knee someone’s bag, and nearly fall when the bus takes a curve.
This is all bullshit. I want Camdyn back so bad it hurts, but I can’t have her. Not now. Not when I need to focus on baseball. Not when scouts are watching every game. Not when my whole future depends on keeping my head in the game. A relationship—a real one—takes time I don’t have. Energy I can’t spare.
But the thought of her moving on... of her finding someone else who can give her what I can’t right now...
My phone buzzes again in my hand like it might try to escape. There’s a new text from Camdyn:
Camdyn
He’s not you
That’s all it says. I smile. I know what she means. The knot in my chest loosens a little.
I type back:
ik the feeling girl
And that’s where we leave it. I blow out a breath and stare out the window, streaks of light streaming in. My heart’s still pounding, but different now. Four words shouldn’t mean this much, but they do. They really fucking do.
I ignore three more texts from Inez. She’s not who I want, and I hate myself for ever letting her think she could be. But Camdyn... damn. I can’t give her what she deserves right now, but I can’t stand the thought of someone else giving it to her either.
Baseball’s everything. It has to be. But lying here in the dark, with Metro Boomin still playing in my ears and Camdyn’s “He’s not you” burning on my screen, I wonder if I’m making the biggest mistake of my life by not giving Camdyn what she deserves.
CHAPTER 20
PAINTING THE BLACK