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Story: Left on Base

“Hospital documentation,” she winks. “Very official.”
Fork Guy pokes his now fork-free head in. “Did someone say pictures? Can I be in them? This could be a great album cover.”
“Out!” Jackie points to the exit. “Or I’m calling your RA again.”
“Fine, fine.” He starts to go, then turns back. “But seriously, you two? Don’t wait for someone to stick a fork in their eye to figure out what matters. That’s my TED Talk for the night.”
I look up at Jaxon, who’s still watching me with that intense expression. “He’s kind of wise for a guy who tried to eat ramen upside down.”
“Even a broken fork is right twice a day,” Jaxon says, then laughs at himself. “Fuck, that was terrible, wasn’t it?”
“The worst,” I agree, but I’m grinning, even though my chin hurts, and I squeeze his hand tighter.
Marcus returns with my final paperwork, humming “Love Story” under his breath.
I glance at Jaxon and sigh. “This place is weird.”
“Your chariot awaits,”Callie says as I slide into her car, immediately grabbing the melting ice cream and noticing Jaxon at the window. “And yes, I got the good stuff. Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked heals all wounds.”
“Even dignity wounds?” I dig in anyway, ignoring Jaxon tapping on the window, the chocolate numbing my chin. Or maybe that’s the lidocaine.
“Girl, you haven’t had dignity since freshman orientation when you?—”
“We don’t speak of orientation!” I wave my spoon. Jaxon taps the window and I roll it down. “Thanks for waiting with me.”
“No problem,” he mumbles, leaning in. “I?—”
I cut him off with my spoon, pointing. “Hey, isn’t that Boat Dude?”
Jaxon shifts his gaze to where I’m pointing—a guy near the crosswalk, having a heated conversation with a parking meter.
“Oh my god,” I sit up, “that’s him!”
“Who?” Callie asks, always ready for my chaos.
“The guy! The one?—"
“Holy shit,” Jaxon laughs. “How’s he still alive?”
Callie stares at him while reaching for her pepper spray. “You know him?”
“Unfortunately.” Jaxon looks at the guy with a mix of fascination and horror. “He cooks Boat in his tub.”
“What even is Boat?” Callie asks, watching as Bus Stop Guy tries to woo the parking meter.
“It’s wonderful stuff,” Jaxon and I say in unison, then laugh, which makes my chin hurt, which makes me wince, which makes Jaxon look worried, which makes my heart flutter.
“Can someone explain what Boat is?” Callie asks, throwing her hands up because she doesn’t understand the joke. “I’m assuming it’s a drug by the way he’s talking to a parking meter.”
“You can only do it once…” Jaxon trails off, a smile playing at his lips. That’s when we spot Fork Guy, now sporting a magnificent eye patch, approaching Bus Stop Guy with the swagger of someone who’s made enough bad decisions for one night.
“Yo!” Fork Guy calls. “Is that Patricia? The parking meter who broke my friend Kevin’s heart last week?”
Bus Stop Guy’s face lights up. “You know Patricia? Wait, is Kevin the guy who tried to serenade her with quarters?”
“That’s him! She took his money and still wouldn’t give him the time of day. Cold, man. Ice cold.”
I’m trying not to laugh because it hurts, but watching them bond over a parking meter’s love life is breaking me. Jaxon’s no help, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

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