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She reaches into her coat pocket and pulls out a ring. Slipping it on, she holds it up for us to see. It’s a huge, glimmering sapphire surrounded by a halo of diamonds set into a platinum band, and for the second time in five minutes, both Holly and I are speechless.

“I didn’t want to ruin the surprise,” Nora says, flushing with pure happiness this time. “But Elias gave this to me. After… well, after everything. Seems kind of silly, I guess, considering we’re already bound for life, but he insisted.”

“Not silly at all,” Holly says, reaching forward to take Nora’s hand and look at the ring. “I’m so happy for you, Nora.”

“I am, too,” I tell her. “Congratulations!”

I mean it, I truly do. Nora and Elias deserve to be happy, and I’ll never be anything but ecstatic for the both of them for finding each other.

Still, sitting here, seeing the absolute joy in her expression, something tight and painful constricts in the center of my chest. I do my best to ignore it, swallow it down, and shake my head to clear those feelings.

The conversation drifts into talking about wedding venues in Seattle, how likely we think it is that Elias will shell out to fly everyone somewhere for a swanky destination ceremony—very likely, if Nora’s blush is any indication—and more good natured discussion about bridesmaids’ dresses and bachelorette parties and just how freaking happy both Holly and I are for Nora and Elias.

Before long, however, the conversation lulls, and two pairs of expectant eyes turn my way.

Damn. I guess avoidant time is up.

“So,” Nora says, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees, her chin in her hands, smiling gently. “Any dragon news to share?”

I wonder what Elias has told her, or, maybe even more important, what Ewan has toldhim. I can’t imagine Ewan’s been forthcoming about our… situationship with many people, but if what Nora told me is true, he and Elias are best friends, so maybe he’s confided in him.

I shrug, pretending to be indifferent. “Not really.”

“Not really?” Holly asks, incredulous. “What I saw downtown a couple weeks ago looked like a lot more than ‘not really.’”

That catches Nora’s attention. “Downtown?”

“Yeah,” Holly says. “I was out bar hopping with Kenna and the rest of the Victorian crew and we ran right into—”

“Anyway. There really isn’t much more to say about it.” Nora and Holly are both probably aware what a big, bald-faced lie that is, but they don’t call me on it. I shrug, forcing casualness. “Let’s talk about something else?”

They exchange a brief look, but mercifully let it drop.

We get onto other subjects—a winter backpacking trip Holly is planning for later this year, some renovations Nora and Elias are doing in their house.

It’s just simple, normal conversation, but the entire time I feel like I’m sitting a couple inches to the left of my body. It’s like I’m looking on as a spectator, watching the scene play out and nodding, agreeing, adding a comment here and there, but not really present at all.

I’m sure my friends can feel it, but whatever they’re thinking, they don’t voice it, and I’m grateful all over again. Maybe it makes me a shit friend for holding it all back from them, but like it has so many times, this thing with Ewan still feels likeours. Some part of me is afraid of what will happen if I crack it open and let anyone else inside.

Later, after we say goodbye and I catch the bus back to the Victorian, I have to face even more of the people I care about and rely on. They greet me and ask me how I’m doing, and I tell them I’m fine before disappearing into my room.

I’m probably a shit for that, too, but there’s only one person I want to talk to right now, and he’s not here.

I suppose I could call him, ask him if I can come over, but tonight I’m just so, so tired. And afraid. Because the next time I talk to him, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to like what I hear.

Hiding some more, I get ready for bed and crawl under the covers, feeling the ax of the end hanging over my head.

30

Blair

When I show up to work on Friday, there’s a vampire sitting in my office.

Even though I did, in fact, tell him he was welcome to stop by to learn more about his assignment with Ophelia before he returns to Boston, I still grumble a little as I take my seat and face him.

“Cheerful this morning,” he says, that teasing Transylvanian lilt back in his voice today.

Ignoring him and shifting a few things around on my desk, I find the file folder I’m looking for and slap it down in front of him.