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The way he said it, the slow tenderness of his kiss, and the tarnished gold of his gaze as he pulled away, made a cloying panic rise in the back of my throat. It felt like… goodbye.

Not that he had the courage to end it outright, and the uncertainty of it all has made me feel vaguely nauseous ever since.

Still, I haven’t texted him. I’m not going to text him. Or call him. Or march my ass up to his office and ask him what the hell he’s thinking.

Despite everything that’s happened between us, and despite how world-tilting our night at the cabin felt, I’ve still got a little dignity. If he wants to pretend like we never shared those moments or slow-fade this whole thing into oblivion, I’m not going to beg him to reconsider.

Well, probably.

Ask me tomorrow and I might have a different answer.

I’ve kept myself as busy as I can finishing up the last of my proposal images and sending them off to Kerri Vaughn, and keeping my head down in the office. I’ve finally been sprung from the Records department, but things haven’t stopped being awkward with my coworkers since the story came out in the Whisper.

And tonight, at least, I’m glad I’ve got something to do to distract myself. Walking up to an apartment building just outside the center of downtown Seattle, I let myself into the vestibule and ring the buzzer. A few seconds later, Holly’s voice crackles over the intercom.

“Buzzing you up.”

When I reach her door a couple minutes later, she swings it open, takes a good, hard look at me, then calls over her shoulder at Nora, who’s standing near the kitchen counter with a corkscrew in hand.

“Wine, stat.”

Well, damn. So much for putting on a brave face.

Nora pours three liberal glasses of Chardonnay and we settle into familiar spots in Holly’s living room. As soon as we’re seated, the weight of my two best friends’ gazes settles on me.

Too bad for them, though, because I’m not in the mood to talk.

At least not about Ewan. I have absolutely no idea how to unravel everything going on between us. I have no idea how to explain it or justify why I, in my infinite recklessness, have taken things so far with someone I should have stayed far, far away from.

Holly opens her mouth, but I cut her off before she can speak.

“Let’s not start with me,” I tell her, raising my glass. “At least not until I’ve made it through one of these.”

My friends might be a bit nosy, but they also know when to listen and give space. I’ve never appreciated it more than I do right now, as they both nod in agreement.

“I… have some news,” Nora says tentatively, and my appreciation doubles to have a new topic of conversation.

“Oh?” Holly asks. “Spill.”

“Elias and I are… mated. Officially.”

Both Holly and I gawk at her for a couple of seconds, but I recover the ability to speak first.

“Girl, what the hell? When did this happen and why weren’t we invited to the party?”

Nora flushes. “Just last weekend. And it wasn’t, uh, really an occasion to share with others.”

“Nice,” I drawl. “So I take it this wasn’t a fancy wedding with flowers and a white dress?”

Nora’s face goes even more crimson. “No, it wasn’t. It was more like a… kidnapping, of sorts. A kraken-napping. I don’t know. There was a rowboat involved.”

“Oh, hell yes,” I say, pumping a fist in the air. “Any more details you want to share?”

“Absolutely not.”

Beside me, Holly stifles a giggle behind her hand. She won’t come right out and ask for details like I will, but I know she’s just as psyched Nora’s in a very happy, stable, sexually satisfying relationship with a genuinely good guy. After what she’s been through, she deserves it.

“We’re going to plan a wedding, too,” Nora assures us. “Maybe sometime next spring or summer. This just felt more important. It was something we both wanted to do.”