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“Afteryou rolled up on her talking shit. Fuck was you on anyway? You act like Nariah did something to you. You was the one fucking around with her nigga, not the other way around. She the only muthafucka in this equation that’s entitled to feel slighted.”
“I wasn’t fucking with myself.” She hissed.
“You are absolutely right.” I nodded. “That’s on me. I fucked up and gotta live with the shit. You don’t.”
“So, I’m supposed to not have any feelings.”
“No, you not. You knew what it was when we started fucking off. You the one trying to make some shit seem like more than what it is. If your feelings hurt, it’s cause you got called out on the shit. And you know what—I’m man enough to take the blame for that too. I should’ve stopped fucking with you when you ran to the blogs being messy. Ain’t nothing worse than a muthafucka that can’t keep they mouth closed.
I’mma take it a step further by saying this shouldn’t have even been a thing. Had I passed you off to one of my niggas wewouldn’t be here right now. But you got it Tamia. I’m to blame. I’ll eat that shit. But hear me and hear me good. Stop fucking with Nariah ‘cause she ain’t did shit to you. You want smoke with anybody have that shit with me. I can handle it ‘cause I know the part I played in it.”
“You’re a fucked up individual Juice.”
“You right. I am.” I agreed, because I really was fucked up. I could sit back and say with conviction that I had fucked some shit up. Tamia wasn’t innocent either but if I had to take the blame for the shit then I would.
“I hate that I even let myself get caught up with you.” She sniveled.
“I think we can both agree on that. You a cool ass female Tamia. I ain’t gone sit here and try to make it seem like you a bird. You might have bird ways but you a good girl. That’s why I fucked with you as long as I did. But the seat you tryna fill already occupied mama and I’m sorry if I made you feel like it was available.”
Tamia stared at me with fury in her eyes. I could tell she really wanted to let my ass have it. Instead of speaking her peace she stood from the couch and wrapped her bag around her. “You’ll be back Juice. You always do.”
“Nawl.” I clicked my tongue. “Not this time baby girl.”
Tamia stared at me a few seconds before leaving the studio. She might’ve thought I was joking but I was dead ass muthafucking serious. Me continuing to fuck with her after Nariah found out ain’t do shit but have my girl feeling like I had feelings for somebody else.
Nobody won at the end of this shit, and it was now that I was realizing that nigga Tito had been right the whole time. Me fucking with Tamia as heavily as I did had her feeling like she was on an even playing field with Nariah. Nariah had alwaysand would always be number one in my book. Some people just couldn’t be replaced and that person for me was Nariah.
____
“Julius, what you want? I’m kind of in the middle of something.”
“I’m outside your warehouse. Come chop it up with me.”
“Julius.” Nariah groaned.
“It’ll only take a minute.”
“Fine…” She drawled and ended the call.
After my talk with Tamia, I had some shit I needed to get off my chest. As soon as my session ended for the day I hopped in my whip and raced across town so I could pull up on Nariah.
The door to her warehouse pushed open and she strutted out. Hitting the locks on my truck I slid out and leaned against the door. “What’s up twin.”
“Boy what the fuck you want.” She laughed.
“I had some shit on my mind that I needed to get off real quick.”
Folding her arms across her chest she tilted her head to the side and rolled her eyes. “Here we go again.”
“Nawl.” I chuckled and pulled her arms down. “On the cool I wanted to apologize to you.”
“For what?” She quizzed.
“For fumbling you like I did. I been thinking ‘bout how shit ended up here and I realized I was a selfish muthafucka.”
Her face frowned up. “You just now realizing that.”
“Nawl I been knew.” I clarified. “Just ain’t realize the magnitude until now.”