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Juju looked up at my mama who nodded her head in approval before wrapping his arms around my neck. Rubbing my hands up and down his back I fought back tears. I got out of character last night and broke my number one rule. The way my son stared at me brought all of this shit to the surface.
In all of my years I had never witnessed a man strike my mama ‘cause had I, my ass would be in solitary confinement. Hell, I’d never even thought about hitting Nariah. I just lost my cool and did some fucked up shit. That put my son in a bad situation. Going forward I would walk the fuck away before I lost my top like I did last night.
nariah
. . .
Rolling overin bed I tugged my duvet over my head and slid down, burying my head under the cover. It had been four days since Julius, and I argued at my front door. And it had been three days since I last saw Juju.
He’d been calling me from his iPad trying to see me, but I didn’t want to face him until the bruise on my cheek healed. Istillcouldn’t believe that Julius struck me like that. And granted I said some foul shit but even still he should’ve had enough restraint than to do some shit like that.
I was so embarrassed that I’d pretty much shut myself off from the world and laid in bed like my life was over. I mean—in a way it was. My relationship issues were being spread across every blog site there was. Not only that, but someone had also leaked Julius arrest to the public and someone had come out with this story about him beating me to a bloody pulp.
The fact that I hadn’t been on social media made the shit sound true. Julius would neverbeatme. Hell, I didn’t think he would ever hit me either, but he had. When he apologized, I knew he was being genuine because that’s the type of person he was. Julius wasn’t a bad guy he just had fucked up ways.
All day I had been lying here blaming myself for how out of control things between us had gotten. Had I kept not giving him any play the two of us wouldn’t be here right now. But then Juju also wouldn’t be here so it’s kind of like I don’t really regret it because this relationship gave me my son shine.
“Sissy!!!” Lariah yelled from the front. I knew this was all my mamas doing. She’d been over a few times trying to get me out of the house and I refused to leave.
Groaning I kicked my feet like a child throwing a tantrum and flipped the covers back. “Why are you here? Didn’t you just leave town?”
“I surely did.” She popped. “Then mama called and said you was hiding out in the house.”
“I think I got a reason.” I sighed and turned over to face the door.
One look at my face had Lariah’s nostrils flaring. “I’m going to kill Juice ass.”
“Now you see why I’m still in the house.”
Sauntering over to the bed Lariah sat on the side of me and ran her finger across my bruise. “Really it looks better than what I thought. Probably because it’s been a few days.”
“Yeah, it was fucking purple.” I chuckled softly.
“What the fuck were y’all thinking? Mama said Juju was home.”
“He was. Saw it all happen.” I whispered the last part.
“Did he have questions?” My sister probed.
“He did. And I left it up to Julius to clear up.”
“Well seeing as though he did it, I think it’s only fair.”
“So did I.” The look on my baby face was one I would never forget. Had Jude been a few years older I had no doubt in my mind that he would’ve killed Julius. My baby was torn for starters but once the initial shock wore off, he kept telling me how much he hated his father just like I did.
I had to tell him that adults go through things sometimes and it’s during those times where we say things that we really don’t mean. I explained that I didn’t hate Julius, and I could never hate him, but I was disappointed in his actions.
Not once did I make an excuse for Julius because it wasn’t my place to reassure our son that he wouldn’t do anything like that again. As I’ve stated before Julius is a damn good father to Jude, I couldn’t have asked for a better one. The two of them had a special bond just like Jude and I had one. I would never come between that. I left it up to Julius to fix that problem, which is why when he called asking for him, I let him know his mama had him.
“Have the two of you talked since then?”
“Who me and Julius?”
“Yeah. I know he’s not over there letting your mind wonder. I know he’s tried to get you back.”
“He has. I’m not going back.” Concierge called and let me know that I had a few items that needed to be delivered to my condo. When I found out where they were coming from, I refused them and all future packages. Since I’d powered my phone off, I didn’t know if Julius had tried other ways to contact me.
Hopping up Lariah rounded the bed, kicked her shoes off, and slid under the covers with me. Pulling me into her she grabbed my head and laid it on her chest. Nestling up to her I closed my eyes and listened to her heartbeat while tears pooled on my lower eyelids.