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She couldn’t be more wrong. “It’s not because I’m here. It’s not because I’m single. I’ve been thinking of you for a while now.”
The whiskey has loosened my tongue, removed my filters. I see the shock on her face.
“Thinking ofme?” she asks, weakly.
It’s now or never. Three glasses of whiskey, or maybe four, have given me courage. “In ways I shouldn’t be thinking of my PA.”
She frowns. Then looks down at her dress quickly before her gaze snaps to mine. As if clarity has suddenly dawned. “Is that why you asked me to come here with you? To Bermuda? Did you plan this?”
My insides feel like they’ve emptied. She’s shocked. Worse, she’s disgusted. I panic. “No! I swear. I didn’t plan anything. I didn’t want you to come here. I shouldn't have asked you to. I knew it was wrong, but Anna let me down, and if she hadn't, I wouldn't be in this impossible situation. You’re the last person I wanted to come here with.”
Hurt fills her eyes. I move closer, needing to explain. “It’s dangerous—you being near me. Me being near you, away from the office where it’s easier to push you away.Where I have a million other distractions. I think of you in ways I shouldn’t, Cari, and that’s why you’re the last person who should be here with me.”
She looks stunned. As if I’ve announced life-changing news—like she’s won a lottery ticket.
A range of emotions cross her face, giving me time to examine her features. Her russet-colored eyes, the light freckles on her nose and cheeks. Her luscious lips, and tiny upturned nose. Her pale, iridescent skin with a dewy sheen. Her rich auburn mane, thrown up into a loose bun, wisps framing her face. She’s smart, sexy, sassy, beautiful, and has a heart of gold. Everything about her is perfect. Why did it take me so long to realize that Cari Summers is the whole deal?
“You really think of me like that?” she whispers. I can’t tell if she’s shocked or scared, if she feels trapped. I don’t want her to feel any of these things.
Once again, the tiny voice of reason screams in my head.What the hell are you doing?
She deserves an answer, and now’s my only chance. “You have no idea,” I tell her, leaning in towards her just a little. “I feel like a dirty old man and this is wrong on so many levels, but you … you in that dress is an image I’ll take to the grave with me. But—” I set my whiskey tumbler down.
She’s much more than that.
I clasp my hands together in case I can’t hold back, and I’m already so desperate to touch her. “There is so much about you that I admire. You're not just my PA, Cari. You're not just a beautiful woman. You keep me grounded. You keep me in line. I love your smile and your infectious laughter—which I miss, because it’s been a while since I last heard it—though I understand why. I love your heart, and how you care. How you are around people. How you are around Brooke. Unlike me, you're not scared to feel your emotions. You don't hide anything. You’re not afraid to feel everything, and you wear your emotions on your sleeve. I can often tell how you're feeling just by looking at you.” I close my mouth, fearing that I've said too much. Gushed like a sappy teen. This woman unravels me in a way that is unfamiliar and uneasy for me.
“Jett.” She looks at me strangely. A faraway expression in her eyes. “Are you … playing games with me? Is this some sick joke?” Her voice is all choked up.
Damn. I’ve offended her. She’ll sue me for harassment. I’m not thinking. This constant hard-on I seem to have all the time has affected my brain. “Don’t hate me for this,” I beg, feeling like I’ve lost her. She’s revolted by my confession, knowing I can’t take back what I’ve just revealed. I panic, not knowing why I’ve done this, not knowing what happens next. “But … it’s not a sick joke. I thought I could handle being here with you, but I can’t. You do all sorts of crazy things to me, and you don’t even know.”
She chews her lip as if she’s contemplating things. “I've been thinking about you, too, Mr. Knight. For the longest time.”
“What?” I can’t believe what she’s just said. “What did you say?”
“I’ve been thinking about you for the longest time. I can’t even remember when it started. During my interview. A few days in. A few months in.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know the exact date, but it’s gotten worse with time, this affliction I have.”
My cock grows even harder, and I didn’t think that was possible.
“Affliction?” I don’t like the word she used.
“You asked me why I’m leaving. That’s why. It drives me insane watching you with your many girlfriends. Watching you take them to dinners, having me book your restaurants and vacations, picking up the sexy lingerie and trinkets for them.”
I’ll be damned. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” I want to believe her. Cari doesn’t lie, which means she’s telling the truth, but this … this is unreal. I never, ever in my wildest dreams suspected this. She’s snarky and direct with me. Up until a few months ago I thought she hated me. But recently, there have been moments when she’s looked at me, that made me think perhaps this isn’t just in my head.
“I can't work for you anymore, Mr. Knight. I have this stupid …stupidcrush on you.” She squeezes her eyes shut, then opens them again, and looks directly at me. “It’s gotten worse since my mom died, and I can’t take it anymore.”
This news is music to my ears. It’s a breathtaking, astonishing reveal that has the potential to ruin me or make me deliriously happy.
“You’re not playing games with me?” I ask, disbelief sweeping over me. I have money and power, neither of which she cares for. She’s young and beautiful, but she's intelligent and kind, even when I've been impossible to be around. She's also resilient and funny, and she has so much going for her, whereas I'm just a cynical and jaded bastard.
What does she want with someone like me? I’m older. I have a child. I have a ton of baggage, and I’ve been an absolute pig to her. It would be wrong of me to tarnish her with my darkness. She deserves someone as amazing as she is.
“What do we do now?” She bites her lip, and tries to lift up the flimsy fabric to cover her exposed thighs.
I don’t know. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do with this news. “What do you want to do?”
She puts a hand to her hair and takes out her clip. I watch in awe, my pulse starts to race as her hair tumbles down and falls like gossamer around her shoulders. I gaze at her in dumbstruck adoration.